Lessons Learned – #5

What’s the fifth most important lesson I learned this year?

Father Time – For a service project leading up to his confirmation, my son decided we would spend a day working with Habitat for Humanity. A June day. In Houston. During the hottest summer on record. Our eight-person team painted the entire outside of a house in six hours. These were our only instructions: “be safe; ask for help if you don’t know; treat it like your own home; have fun.” Simple is often best. By the way, the grateful homeowner contributed 250 hours of labor in exchange for an interest-free note on her new 1,200 square foot residence.

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Always Remember

Last week, our youngest – for an 8th grade class – had to interview someone about the ‘most historical moment’ of his/her lifetime. She chose her grandfather, who just celebrated his 80th birthday. He told her the assassination of JFK tops his list, as he was too young to remember Pearl Harbor, although having spent 27 years as a naval fighter pilot beginning in 1954, he certainly understands the meaning and significance of ‘a date which will live in infamy.’

I was three-and-a-half on November 22, 1963, and have been fascinated by JFK since my sophomore geography teacher told us about his experience as a senior in high school in Dallas on that fateful day. I’ve read most of the conspiracy books, watched all the famous news programs, walked Dealey Plaza and spent time in the Sixth Floor Museum. I’ve even seen Lee Harvey Oswald’s unmarked grave in Rose Hill cemetery – a hunt completed with my sister and brother-in-law on the 25th anniversary of the tragedy.

Today, we remember the victims of 9/11, so I asked our daughter – who’s a senior in college – what she recalls from being a sixth grader in 2001:

“They didn’t tell us about it right away, but we knew something was wrong, because teachers were crying and kids were being picked up. After a while we had this assembly, and the guy basically told us God had performed so many miracles that day, which didn’t make sense to me. Oh, and I remember asking one of the lunch aides why kids were leaving, and she said ‘must be a lot of dentist appointments.’ None of the adults knew how to handle the situation. They saw us as kids, but a lot changed for us on that day. As part of the post-9/11 generation, I think we would better handle something like this, or at least know how to talk about it.”

It’s a common conversation piece to ask those who experienced historical moments where they were and what they were doing when they found out. For those alive today, the discussions might include the Crash of 1929, Pearl Harbor, Germany’s surrender, Jackie Robinson, JFK, the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, Neil Armstrong, Nixon’s resignation, Challenger, the fall of the Berlin Wall and 9/11.

Of course, as time passes, memories become less clear. Yet, as long as we pause to reflect, those dramatic events will remain part of who we are as a nation. We’ll pass them on to future generations, and hopefully teach them new lessons. A friend who’s a printer made a magnet for clients a couple of weeks after 9/11. He gave one to us. It shows an American flag and says, “We Will Never Forget.” We haven’t. It’s still on our refrigerator.

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Confrontation Station

One impressive thing I find in working with large organizations – those with HR departments – is a focus on conducting regular performance reviews with employees. Many of these include creating development plans to help direct reports improve in needed areas. Smaller companies? Not so much. It seems every time I ask a small business owner, “When was the last time you conducted employee reviews?” the answer is, “I need to do that.”

There are two sticking points that seem to get in the way of accomplishing this important task. One is time. That’s a given in both large and small organizations. There is always something else to do. Who has hours available to review eight or 10 people? The other challenge is strictly internal: aversion to confrontation.

Most of us simply don’t like to address hard issues. After all, if we call someone out on a behavioral trait, several things could happen: 1) They could react – with anger, with tears, with the silent treatment; 2) They could leave – it’s easier to move on than to change; or, 3) They might not like us – and who enjoys being the bad guy. Makes sense that the way to prevent any of this is to avoid the issue altogether.

Of course, then there is no growth and you continue having employees with the same challenges. You’ve substituted frustration for confrontation. A better way is to change your mindset. Instead of thinking of employee reviews as a ‘time to point out what Susie does wrong’ exercise, look at them as the opportunity to have a candid and open discussion around how to help Susie improve.

If you’ve never done reviews, here’s a simple process to implement them:

1) Spend one hour thinking about your employees’ individual strengths and opportunities for improvement – make notes on each person (a common form would be a good thing to use);

2) Schedule a 30-minute meeting with each employee, letting them know the purpose is to help them identify ways to be a better contributor and to seek their input on how you can be a better leader… and when you get together allow them to share first (you may have to prompt them with a few ‘What do you do best?” and “How can we improve?” questions);

3) Acknowledge their answers (no need to defend your shortcomings or respond to their suggestions, just say thank you and let them know you’ll consider), then share your thoughts – be sure not to focus on just negative things… complement their positive attributes;

4) Agree to two or three things they want to improve over the next three-to-six months – then check in with them every few weeks to see how they’re doing… following up is essential to keeping them on track.

Take this approach and you’ll see reviews are more about helping your employees grow and learning ways you can better serve them. Instead of confrontation, you’ll discover cooperation.

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Foreword Thinking

Growing up I played a lot of golf with three lifelong friends. In 1980, the hottest summer on record before this one, we’d tee off at first daylight – 6 a.m. – to beat the heat. Those were great times and I have lasting memories of our outings on the links. Sadly, in October 1982, one of our foursome died in a car accident.

The following summer, the three of us left behind decided to start a golf tournament to honor our friend. The first outing had 12 players. Over the next decade it steadily grew, and we typically had 88 participants. During years 13-23, another good friend took the reins and did a great job. Through it all, we raised more than $100,000 for a scholarship fund at our high school in Fort Worth. After the 2005, tournament, everyone knew the time had come to end it.

Then one year ago this week, another friend reached out and asked if we would allow him to restart it. “That was such a wonderful chance for everyone to get together every year,” he said. “I’d be willing to do all the work, if you guys will tell me what needs to happen.” Of course, we said yes, and on Sunday 40 of our long-time players will tee it up in the 24th Paul Knippel Memorial.

I turned 23 the week of that first tournament. Everyone who played was within a few years of my age. Now we’re on either side of 50. This time, my 17-year-old son is playing with me, along with my 21-year-old nephew and my brother. By grace, those of us in the Class of ’78 have lived a lot of life Paul never had the opportunity to experience. Somewhere, he’ll be smiling as we gather again. Life passes quickly. Make sure you reconnect with those who matter.

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Inconsistent Behavior

During a recent business trip the airplane scheduled for our outbound flight was delayed by bad weather. After arriving at the airport 90 minutes before our 8:30 a.m. departure, we suddenly had two additional hours on our hands. The five of us decided to relax and enjoy a sit-down breakfast at one of the franchise restaurants in the terminal. Service: Good. Food: Fine. Value: Excellent. One of our party commented, “I’d come here again.”

Three days later upon arriving at the airport for the early morning return flight home, we again faced an extended wait. As luck would have it, the same restaurant was right next to our gate. We decided if it worked in once, we should eat there again. How did things turn out the second time? Service: Weak. Food: Poor. Value: Minimal.

Our waitress had an attitude and didn’t want to be there. Since the choices were limited, each of us ordered the exact same thing. These portions were smaller and taste was missing. When the bill arrived I took out the receipt from the first meal and discovered there was a $15 difference in the amount. Turned out some of the things that came ‘standard’ in Houston were ‘extra’ in Louisville. That same traveling companion said, “I’ll never eat at this restaurant again.”

Customers have expectations with a franchise that it will deliver the same experience every time. That’s why McDonald’s french fries and Baskin-Robbins ice cream taste the same wherever you are in the world. When a rogue franchisee fails to fulfill those promises, it affects the entire brand. I flew again a few weeks later, and – walking by the location here – thought, “Your Louisville buddy ruined it for you.”

The result is the same in your organization, even if you’re not a franchise. You set the bar on how I expect to be treated. Fail to live up to those lofty goals – whether it’s quality or service or value – and chances are you’ll lose me forever.

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