Always Remember

Last week, our youngest – for an 8th grade class – had to interview someone about the ‘most historical moment’ of his/her lifetime. She chose her grandfather, who just celebrated his 80th birthday. He told her the assassination of JFK tops his list, as he was too young to remember Pearl Harbor, although having spent 27 years as a naval fighter pilot beginning in 1954, he certainly understands the meaning and significance of ‘a date which will live in infamy.’

I was three-and-a-half on November 22, 1963, and have been fascinated by JFK since my sophomore geography teacher told us about his experience as a senior in high school in Dallas on that fateful day. I’ve read most of the conspiracy books, watched all the famous news programs, walked Dealey Plaza and spent time in the Sixth Floor Museum. I’ve even seen Lee Harvey Oswald’s unmarked grave in Rose Hill cemetery – a hunt completed with my sister and brother-in-law on the 25th anniversary of the tragedy.

Today, we remember the victims of 9/11, so I asked our daughter – who’s a senior in college – what she recalls from being a sixth grader in 2001:

“They didn’t tell us about it right away, but we knew something was wrong, because teachers were crying and kids were being picked up. After a while we had this assembly, and the guy basically told us God had performed so many miracles that day, which didn’t make sense to me. Oh, and I remember asking one of the lunch aides why kids were leaving, and she said ‘must be a lot of dentist appointments.’ None of the adults knew how to handle the situation. They saw us as kids, but a lot changed for us on that day. As part of the post-9/11 generation, I think we would better handle something like this, or at least know how to talk about it.”

It’s a common conversation piece to ask those who experienced historical moments where they were and what they were doing when they found out. For those alive today, the discussions might include the Crash of 1929, Pearl Harbor, Germany’s surrender, Jackie Robinson, JFK, the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, Neil Armstrong, Nixon’s resignation, Challenger, the fall of the Berlin Wall and 9/11.

Of course, as time passes, memories become less clear. Yet, as long as we pause to reflect, those dramatic events will remain part of who we are as a nation. We’ll pass them on to future generations, and hopefully teach them new lessons. A friend who’s a printer made a magnet for clients a couple of weeks after 9/11. He gave one to us. It shows an American flag and says, “We Will Never Forget.” We haven’t. It’s still on our refrigerator.

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Unfavorable Support

A sports radio show here has a recurring segment titled, “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” about items in the news. For instance, when Charlie Sheen announced that instead of heading into rehab he would be handling drug and alcohol dependency on his own, the host asked listeners to weigh in with thoughts on how badly that idea could turn out.

When I heard last night the Texas Senate approved a ‘highly controversial bill’ to allow licensed citizens to carry concealed handguns inside buildings at public colleges and universities that same question immediately jumped into my head.

Proponents say it would enhance the safety of licensees – who have to be 21 or older – and their fellow students. They suggest the next time there’s an incident like Virginia Tech someone other than the shooter would be armed. Opponents, including regents and officials of the universities, believe academic institutions should remain gun-free. They mention the confusion that could occur when campus security and local law enforcement arrive on the scene and try to determine the good guys from the bad.

With a daughter who will be a senior at the University of Texas and two more kids to follow her over the next nine years, I have concerns should this bill pass the House and the governor sign it into law. My biggest worry is on any given Saturday night – following much alcohol consumption – the ‘testosterone effect’ greatly enhances the likelihood of altercations.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Cold Shoulders

When you live in Texas and see news about snowstorms affecting other parts of the country, you think, “Glad that’s not us.” Until, of course, when the Super Bowl decides to come to DFW. Watching ESPN the past few days, folks across America could have been convinced the Lone Star State is frozen tundra during February. Even here in Houston – 270 miles to the south – they’re predicting several inches of snow over the next 24 hours.

It’s amazing how easily perceptions are embedded deeply in folk’s minds. In my coaching work with executives, I’ll interview a dozen people the client feels know him or her best, then share their quotes without attribution. Inevitably I’ll hear from the client, “That comment about me being condescending refers to one thing that happened a couple of years ago.” Yet there it is, a big enough issue to a team member that he felt the need to tell me about it during our 15-minute conversation.

While a single comment may or may not be relevant to a leader’s long-term success, understanding that supervisors, peers and direct reports have long memories is important. That quip you blurt out in a meeting that makes light of someone’s slip-up – the one everybody laughs at and you think is completely harmless – may have a lasting impact on your relationship with the object of your humor.

The snow in DFW will be forgotten once the NFL leaves town and temperatures rise; perceptions others hold of you aren’t so easily changed. So if your relationship with someone seems to be on ice, ask her what you did. If she tells you, apologize. Chances are it’s not too late to repair the misstep you don’t remember and warm up the chill in the air.

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It’s Best to Address

The penultimate thing I learned in 2009:

#2

Think It, Say It – One of my weaknesses as a husband, father and friend is trying to keep those I care about from feeling pain. Thus, I tend to withhold bad news and act as a peacemaker whenever there is rising conflict. (Interestingly, this never is a problem with clients; when needed, I ask hard questions and address tough issues.) After one challenging situation this year that ended with Kathy saying, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I vowed to stop being the great protector and start being the great communicator.

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Making Yourself Free

One of the tenets of journalism, which I learned while earning a degree in that study from the University of Texas, is truth takes precedent over opinion. As information dissemination evolves from the evening newscast of your childhood, to the 24-hour availability of CNN and cable channels, to today’s instantaneous Internet commentaries, there is great risk that truth becomes distorted.

Unlimited access to free information is a gift, not an inherent right. The ability to have the world at your fingertips endangers the long-term viability of news gathering operations. As more and more newspapers – and perhaps someday broadcast entities – go out of business, it begs the question, “What happens when there’s no money to fund investigative reporting?” So, as you rejoice in the speed at which news travels the globe and the power at your fingertips to quickly post thought pieces on your blog, remember somewhere down the road there could come a time when the journalists who identify the seeds of stories become extinct due to a lack of resources.

On the Main Building at UT, there is this engraving from the Gospel of John: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” Walter Cronkite saw those words when he matriculated there years before becoming “the most trusted man in America” as the longtime anchor of the CBS Evening News. If media outlets struggle to survive in the coming years, those left to provide information to the great unwashed need to step up their journalistic integrity while eliminating bias and opinion from their vocabularies. Otherwise, you’ll have no idea what the truth is and who you should trust.

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