issue – Fast:Forward Farther

June 2, 2012

Better Dialogue

This week during three separate coaching sessions, clients asked me how to be better at communicating. As I explored with each the ‘issue behind the issue’ it was clear the person felt he/she tended to jump into conversations in a rapid-fire, your turn/my turn manner.

“When we’re in meetings,” one said, “it’s as if the entire room is salivating in anticipation of a small sliver of an opening so someone else can speak. There’s never silence.”

I asked questions to help him find clarity about what his preferred style would be, and he realized the true desire is to not react poorly to something someone said. From his perspective, there is a tendency to say things abruptly that heighten the energy flowing around the room or in one-on-one discussions, then he regrets it afterward… and often has to circle back to conduct damage control.

There is a technique called ‘take a pause’ that I shared with him, and we did some role-playing so he could be comfortable with silence. The first time I asked him to remain silent for 10 seconds after I finished talking. I ran a stopwatch, and he was surprised to learn his first words came only six seconds later. We began to reduce the time expanse until he had a sense of the length of just a two-second moment of silence.

If you find yourself struggling with non-stop, rapid-fire conversations – or in meetings you’re chomping at the bit to get in a word edgewise, practice taking a pause. Not only will you have more peace inside, you’ll find your answers are more concise and appropriate. It’s amazing what a difference two seconds will make in your effectiveness.

December 26, 2011December 20, 2011

Lessons Learned – #6

For the past eight years I’ve written a monthly e-newsletter about my business and life observations. The December issue is always a reflection on the things I learned. Here is a most delightful sixth lesson of 2011:

Gimme S’more – Pepperidge Farm knows what it’s doing when it comes to product extension – adding Pizza, Whole Grain, Pretzel and other flavors to its popular Cheddar Goldfish Crackers. Heck, those cute little guys even have their own website with fun and games for kids. Recently, Kathy brought home Goldfish S’mores Adventures. Delicious… and highly recommended.

December 22, 2011December 20, 2011

Lessons Learned – #10

Each year the last issue of our e-newsletter focuses on some of my lessons learned. May you find inspiration among the Top 10 things that touched me during 2011.

Dropped Call – One of my clients is a service center manager for the large wireless company that until yesterday looked like it would be combining with another industry giant. When news broke last spring of that proposed union, her team found out as people called in with questions about how it would effect their service. “We miss productivity numbers and they hold an emergency meeting,” she said. “But we have a damn merger and they don’t say a word, so we hear it from our customers watching CNBC.” That’s a big ‘oops’ leaders could have avoided by simply pausing to ask, “Who do we need to tell right away?”

August 30, 2011August 15, 2011

Confrontation Station

One impressive thing I find in working with large organizations – those with HR departments – is a focus on conducting regular performance reviews with employees. Many of these include creating development plans to help direct reports improve in needed areas. Smaller companies? Not so much. It seems every time I ask a small business owner, “When was the last time you conducted employee reviews?” the answer is, “I need to do that.”

There are two sticking points that seem to get in the way of accomplishing this important task. One is time. That’s a given in both large and small organizations. There is always something else to do. Who has hours available to review eight or 10 people? The other challenge is strictly internal: aversion to confrontation.

Most of us simply don’t like to address hard issues. After all, if we call someone out on a behavioral trait, several things could happen: 1) They could react – with anger, with tears, with the silent treatment; 2) They could leave – it’s easier to move on than to change; or, 3) They might not like us – and who enjoys being the bad guy. Makes sense that the way to prevent any of this is to avoid the issue altogether.

Of course, then there is no growth and you continue having employees with the same challenges. You’ve substituted frustration for confrontation. A better way is to change your mindset. Instead of thinking of employee reviews as a ‘time to point out what Susie does wrong’ exercise, look at them as the opportunity to have a candid and open discussion around how to help Susie improve.

If you’ve never done reviews, here’s a simple process to implement them:

1) Spend one hour thinking about your employees’ individual strengths and opportunities for improvement – make notes on each person (a common form would be a good thing to use);

2) Schedule a 30-minute meeting with each employee, letting them know the purpose is to help them identify ways to be a better contributor and to seek their input on how you can be a better leader… and when you get together allow them to share first (you may have to prompt them with a few ‘What do you do best?” and “How can we improve?” questions);

3) Acknowledge their answers (no need to defend your shortcomings or respond to their suggestions, just say thank you and let them know you’ll consider), then share your thoughts – be sure not to focus on just negative things… complement their positive attributes;

4) Agree to two or three things they want to improve over the next three-to-six months – then check in with them every few weeks to see how they’re doing… following up is essential to keeping them on track.

Take this approach and you’ll see reviews are more about helping your employees grow and learning ways you can better serve them. Instead of confrontation, you’ll discover cooperation.

December 27, 2010December 15, 2010

Lessons Learned – #5

Each month I write an e-newsletter that focuses on observations in business and life that could be beneficial for readers. The December issue is always a reflection on the lessons I learned during the year. Here is the 5th most important insight I discovered in 2010:

Stand On It – One of my intentions this year was to confidently treach out to anyone who could possibly enhance our success – to play big. This focus attracted conversations with many executives… and each was gracious to provide guidance and referrals. On the personal side, I submitted an application to ‘Be the Boss’ on Sirius/XM’s E Street Radio. They said yes, and I had the opportunity to play my favorite Bruce Springsteen tracks and share stories on the air. Never be shy to raise your hand; it’s the best way to start working on a dream.