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Shifting Time

The month of July is typically hot and humid in Houston. Did I mention humid? Not so much this summer of 2012. From June 26 to July 17, the rain gauge at our house collected water on 17 different days including a 72-hour period when more than 15 inches fell. That particular deluge led to severe flooding within a couple miles.

Whether the cause is climate change, global warming or simply one of those years when the clouds randomly decided to take dead aim on our community, one thing is certain: this was unlike any of the other 14 summers we’ve spent in southeast Texas. Instead of loading up with mosquito spray and mowing our yard late in the evening to avoid the dangerous heat, we watched the grass grow higher and higher… waiting for the lawn to dry out long enough to cut.

Sometimes change is dramatic, as when the skies pour down water. Sometimes it’s subtle, as when you look in the mirror and think, ‘I haven’t seen those gray hairs before.’ When there’s a tax increase – or tax cut – you tend to see the difference immediately in your take-home pay. When your mobile phone – or satellite/cable – bill creeps up a few pennies here and there, you might not even notice the difference for months.

One of my clients heard Tom Brokaw speak last month. “You know the news right away,” he quoted the former NBC News anchor as saying. “That’s no longer our job. We’re here now to help you interpret what the news means to you.” That’s a big shift from when I started working in a TV newsroom 31 summers ago, and viewers tuned in at 5, 6 and 10 to discover what had happened while they were at work. CNN started the monumental shift with 24/7 information access. The Internet gave you control at the click of a mouse. Twitter transmits instantaneous headlines in 140 characters or less.

Who knows what will happen next. Perhaps Google Maps, which currently utilizes static pictures, will have live cameras… that you control from your fold-up tablet. The important thing, of course, is to be open to ‘new’ and adapt your personal approach and business systems to whatever next appears on the horizon. Otherwise, you risk getting swept away by the fast-moving current of progress.

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Reset Button

Half the year is gone. Already. Like thisfast. Record heat may be enveloping the country, yet as sure as fireworks will light up the night sky on the Fourth of July, Christmas will be here before you can say, “Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.”

A review of our 2012 ‘Rocks’ – those items that are really important to the growth of Success Handler, LLC – shows we hit on several, haven’t finished some… and, as typically happens, forgot about a couple. That’s how it is with planning for tomorrow: you have to work on everything today, and today often ends up being yesterday because other things got in the way and you haven’t had anytime… this month.

Thus, June 30 is the perfect date to clear your slate and start anew. Spend two minutes celebrating your successes, one minute being frustrated for what didn’t happen, and move on. Get out a piece of paper and write down – or start typing on your keyboard – the best four things you’ll accomplish the rest of the year. Then make one more important change: instead of sticking that note in a drawer or losing track of it on your computer, place it on your desk or tack it to the wall and look at it first thing everything morning.

Rather than starting each day getting caught up in putting out fires, take the first 30 minutes to focus on your Rocks. You’ll soar far before it’s time to sing Auld Lang Syne in just 184 days.

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Youthful Joy

It’s a rainy fall Saturday afternoon in 1970. I’m 10 years old. My friend Chris and I are at my father’s furniture store in Ft. Worth. Rambunctious fifth graders jumping on sofas and beds. Skipping between dining room tables playing paper football. First one to 100 wins.

In those days, there was only one college football game on TV each week. On the radio is a UT football game. Probably Rice. Maybe Baylor. The Longhorns are defending national champions. Riding a 25-game winning streak that would reach 30 leading up to a New Year’s Day matchup with Notre Dame. Connie Alexander is vividly calling play by play.

The Longhorns coach, Darrell Royal, was renowned for his homespun sense of humor:

“Breaks balance out. The sun don’t shine on the same ol’ dog’s rear end every day.”

“He’s not very fast, but maybe Elizabeth Taylor can’t sing.”

“[TCU is] like a bunch of cockroaches. It’s not what they eat and tote off, it’s what they fall into and mess up that hurts.”

And, his most famous quote: “Dance with the one who brung you.”

It’s the summer of 2012. I’m 52 years old. Earlier this year, DKR’s wife announced the 87-year-old legend suffers from dementia. “Every day since Darrell’s diagnosis,” she said, “I deal with the stress of managing everything without my best friend at my side helping me make decisions.” I met Coach Royal a few times during my television career, and he was as warm and charming as your grandfather. It’s sad to think he doesn’t remember all the great things his teams did that made me into a lifelong fan.

Chris and I went to that ’71 Cotton Bowl together. Sat in the stands… by ourselves. I lost a bet when his dad’s Fighting Irish beat my two older brothers’ Longhorns. I paid him the nickel on the way to the car.

We attended grade school and high school together. Played at least 200 rounds of golf as kids. Shared a dorm room for a year at UT before he transferred to Notre Dame. After college, we rented an apartment for a few years. His younger brother John was the co-founder of our travel company, godfather of our daughter and my most trusted confidant.

I’ve learned a lot from the Anthony brothers over the past four decades. Here’s hoping I never forget all the wonderful memories.

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Better Dialogue

This week during three separate coaching sessions, clients asked me how to be better at communicating. As I explored with each the ‘issue behind the issue’ it was clear the person felt he/she tended to jump into conversations in a rapid-fire, your turn/my turn manner.

“When we’re in meetings,” one said, “it’s as if the entire room is salivating in anticipation of a small sliver of an opening so someone else can speak. There’s never silence.”

I asked questions to help him find clarity about what his preferred style would be, and he realized the true desire is to not react poorly to something someone said. From his perspective, there is a tendency to say things abruptly that heighten the energy flowing around the room or in one-on-one discussions, then he regrets it afterward… and often has to circle back to conduct damage control.

There is a technique called ‘take a pause’ that I shared with him, and we did some role-playing so he could be comfortable with silence. The first time I asked him to remain silent for 10 seconds after I finished talking. I ran a stopwatch, and he was surprised to learn his first words came only six seconds later. We began to reduce the time expanse until he had a sense of the length of just a two-second moment of silence.

If you find yourself struggling with non-stop, rapid-fire conversations – or in meetings you’re chomping at the bit to get in a word edgewise, practice taking a pause. Not only will you have more peace inside, you’ll find your answers are more concise and appropriate. It’s amazing what a difference two seconds will make in your effectiveness.

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Backdoor Plans

Early this Monday morning I went through my daily exercise and stretching routine, then grabbed my swimsuit to change and head to the YMCA for my thrice-weekly hour in the pool. Glancing at my trunks, I noticed a three-inch long hole in the seam. Since I only keep one swimsuit on hand, I was disappointed there would be no swimming today. (My wife says I’ve become obsessed with the sport since taking it up two years ago… and I think she’s fairly accurate in that assessment.)

Suddenly, I sensed a tremendous surge of embarrassment flowing through my body, as it occurred to me that when I last swam, there is a strong possibility the lifeguards had a – how shall I say this? – unique view of my backside. Increasing that overwhelming feeling was the fact there is always an exercise class of older ladies occurring in the deep end while I swim. Wondering what they might have seen when I toweled off afterward added to my stress.

Having had a few minutes to think about this, it now seems rather humorous. There is a strong possibility no one noticed, and, if some did, well, it gave them a good laugh for a few minutes… or at least something to talk about when I left. (FYI: I always put on a pair of shorts over my swimsuit for the walk into and out of the Y, so get that vision out of your mind.)

Of course, there is a great lesson to be learned here. In everything you do, it’s important to ‘take a pause’ every so often and assess your organization – from top to bottom. You’ll be more successful by setting aside your routine for awhile to take a close look at the moving parts. That’s a much better approach than simply assuming everything is going along swimmingly.