Lifetime Gift

When I was 14 and my sister eight, with three older boys already out of the house, my parents sat with us in the den of our home and shared some news. Mom had cancer… and doctors told her she had six months to live. “I want you to know,” she said, “that I spoke with Jesus, and he told me that I will be able to see you both grow up.” Since mom said it, I always believed it – and, as promised, she lived 12 years before passing away three weeks after my sister’s wedding.

While I was in high school, mom endured more than 50 chemotherapy treatments – and the side effects were bad. Her close friend – the mother of my best friend – filled in often: taking me to get things for school, feeding me meals, and letting me stay at their house when mom was in the hospital.

They lived 15 minutes from us, and after I got my driver’s license, I would go there and, if the family was out, just let myself in. They always had a certain ice cream bar in the freezer, and when they arrived home, I typically would be eating one. Thus was born a line I still use today: “You know, I’ve never had a Klondike.”

In college, their house was the hangout during breaks: always plenty of food and games – and never a protest when we stayed late… no doubt making a lot of noise and getting in the way of a good night’s rest.

In 1988, her daughter, another son and I started a travel company, and seven years later I joined them full-time. Of course, they had hired their mom long before that. During my tenure, she arrived each day by 7 a.m. and worked harder than anyone – even though she was past the age most in her generation retired. The hardest transition I had was when she insisted I use her first name. That was a tough habit to break.

During the past two decades, we saw each other a few times, including at a wedding where she kept dancing after many tired. I continued to receive a birthday card just as I had since I was a boy. Most months, she’d send a nice email acknowledging my newsletter, which always brightened my day… especially since she long ago taught me punctuation lessons, including when to use that crazy Oxford comma.

A young 84, she’s been caring for her invalid husband – looking forward to when that burden ends, so she can travel and spend time with her grandkids. Of course, while God keeps promises, sometimes He has other plans. Last week we learned her body was failing quickly due to an infection. She died last night.

I believe my mother greeted her in Heaven with a warm embrace and “Thank You” for watching over me for four decades. Words I didn’t say often enough. When we meet again, I’m going to tell Jean Anthony how much she impacted my life.

Engine Troubles

One of the deacons at our church gave a homily this month that touched me. Yes, there were several excellent points about how to lead a better life and have a closer relationship with the Big Guy. However, it was the story he told about his long career as a member of the City of Houston Fire Department that stuck with me when Mass ended.

Deacon Bill pointed out that many firemen take on second careers for those times they’re not on the job. (Thank goodness, or Firehouse Subs might not exist.) They also do a lot of upkeep during their shifts at the station, including repairs on the big red fire truck engines. A member of his team became so skilled at repairing transmissions – which is not an easy task – that he opened his own business.

One day, a young fireman had car troubles and learned the repair work – on his transmission – would cost more than he wanted to pay. So he asked his fellow public servant if he would be willing to fix it. “If you bring in the transmission and watch me until I’m finished,” said the veteran, “I’ll do it.”

The next morning the young apprentice rolled it in and others gathered around to watch the master disassemble the broken transmission. Hours passed. Patiently, piece by many piece – torque converter, planetary gear train, hydraulic controls, clutches and bands – he took it all apart, cleaned and repaired, then put everything back together

“Did you watch everything I did?” said the transmission virtuoso.

“Yes, I saw it all,” said the young fireman.

“Good. There’s just one more thing,” and the veteran took the entire transmission apart again. “Now it’s your turn.”

Fix a man’s transmission and he’ll be able to drive a car. Teach a man to fix transmissions and he’ll never go hungry. That sounds vaguely familiar.

Mystery Theatre

Eight years ago – when the economy was at its nadir and on the last day of 2Q09 – I visited a Houston area Honda dealership and made a lowball offer on a fully equipped Honda Accord. They accepted.

My new V6 came with three months of free satellite radio. Six weeks later an offer arrived in the mail… something to the tune of: “Your complimentary subscription is expiring soon. You may continue receiving all the benefits of XM Radio by signing up for a one-year subscription at $10 per month. However, for a limited time, we are offering a lifetime, fully transferrable membership for $500, payable in three installments.”

The risks seemed to be limited to two things: XM Radio goes out of business, and, at $120 per year, I’d be paying upfront for four years of service without knowing how much I would use it. In hindsight, choosing ‘Yes’ turned out to be one of my best business decisions as XM merged with Sirius and it’s usually on whenever I’m in the car.

The channels I listen to most often are E Street Radio (Bruce Springsteen 24/7), ESPN Radio (Mike and Mike in the Morning) and RadioClassics (vintage transcriptions from the days before TV). Goodies from old-time mysteries, like Suspense and Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, are my favorite driving pastimes. This week I heard a World War II era episode of Lux Radio Theatre.

An adaptation of a spy novel, the intermission included the host – legendary film director Cecil B. DeMille – interviewing a retired military general about life as a spy. When DeMille asked what characteristics make the best spy, the guest replied there are three: great skills of observation; keen ability to recall details; and, talent to describe.

Those are excellent qualities for leaders, too. Stay at a high level and notice what’s happening around you. Remember and process all the data you take in. Craft a compelling story that motivates others to follow your vision.

“To spy on a man, introduce him to a beautiful woman,” said the general. “To spy on a woman, all you have to do is make her jealous.” That’s a rather dated point of view these 75 years later… and sounds like the plot of a James Bond movie. Well… Ian Fleming – creator of 007 – was, in fact, a spy during the Second World War.

Decision Time

Our nation is at a crossroads – divided down the middle which way to turn. Choose wisely and we might soar higher. Choose poorly and the annals of history could note this is when it all ended… relegating the greatest democracy the world has known to just a date in a book… like every dynasty that preceded us.

I’m not smart enough to know the right answer. There are people who spend their entire lives focusing on economic and political strategies. I’m just a guy who lives in Tomball, Texas, that gets up every day and tries to be the best person I can be.

What I have learned in 36 years of working is that everyone is pretty much the same. Some people make more money, some less. Some people are book smart, some great with their hands. Some people seem to dance through life as if on a cloud, some struggle daily just to make it through. Ultimately, though, 99.62% of the people I’ve met during my career are good people who care about others and want to do the right thing.

I’ve worked with many people of different faiths: Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist. Spiritualists. Agnostics. Non-believers. Out of curiosity, I’ve had a lot of conversations about their belief systems. While the traditions and dogma vary, the bottom line is the same: start with love and make the world a better place.

I’ve worked with many people of different color – white, black, brown and blended mixtures in this great melting pot. For many years during my sports television career, the director who sat right next to me in the truck was black. We traveled together. Ate together. Worked together. Had many deep discussions about what he faced growing up… and he told me stories about the blatant discrimination his grandparents endured when they were young.

One time I said to Kathy: “There would be no racism, if every person on the planet had the opportunity to work side-by-side with JT.” For it is our lack of connection with and understanding of others that displaces love with fear… and that keeps alive conflict generation after generation after generation.

It’s time to make a decision. Will this be an inflection point… or a tumble?

Red Envelope

It’s the little things that make a difference. A smile given freely as you pass someone on the sidewalk. A phone call to a friend you haven’t spoken with in awhile. A good ear and silence when your significant other just needs you to listen.

Yet you miss so many opportunities. Rushing by with your head down heading to the next appointment. Going to bed exhausted promising yourself to dial that number tomorrow. Interjecting an opinion that turns the conversation and makes it about you.

This week I was shadowing a client who is CEO of a hospital. As I followed him on rounds through the various departments, we encountered many people. Each one – despite the stresses of being a health care provider – smiled, shook my hand and was fully present during our brief encounter.

At one stop I met a woman named Tran. After a few minutes of conversation, she said: “Wait a minute, I have something for you.” She stepped into her office and quickly returned… then she handed me a red envelope with a design of a dragon in gold on it.

Later I looked inside and it was a $2 bill. The gesture made my day… and allowed me to experience an important tradition in the Chinese culture.

Happy New Year!