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Thanks Giving

As the nation pauses to celebrate one of our most treasured holidays, here are 10 things I am most thankful for today.

10) Sports – I started following sports as an eight-year-old. While my playing days long ago transitioned to golf, I’m still a huge fan… limiting my cheering now to the Astros (non-cheating version) and, of course, Texas Longhorns football  

9) Technology – I read recently that we have more knowledge available in our mobile device than a Fortune 500 CEO had access to in 1980. What a terrific time to live… whether for the ease of reading or the ability to access video. Want to learn how to change a tire, plant a shrub, make sushi? There’s a YouTube for that 

8) Nature – At the golf course I play, a family of deer comes out around dusk, and there are hawks and other birds that often land in the fairway. (I have videos!) Plus, there are National Parks just waiting to be explored in any season of the year 

7) Freedom – There are great challenges here and abroad right now, and after these go away others will appear down the road. Yet, compared to the annals of human history, we live in a country where anyone can still pursue their dreams

6) Clients – When we pursued ours by starting Success Handler, LLC, 19 years ago, I believed it would make it. I also had no idea how much joy I would receive from working with talented leaders who want to be their best and are willing to change

5) Health – While the past two years required a lot of tests to discover why I was having digestive issues, I’m amazed at the number of gluten and dairy free products available. I can’t eat what I used to – looking at you, TexMex – yet I am my usual self on most days  

4) Friends – I tend to be an introvert, so my circle of friends is small. The ones I’m closest to are great, and they know who they are, because I text them news and sports links and articles about 30 times every day

3) Family – My brothers and sister, in laws, nieces and nephews are wonderful. We’re a tight family, and despite the distances between us, get together often… if not in person, at least through the magic of FaceTime and Zoom

2) Kids – Years ago, a mentor told me: ‘You’re going to raise your kids. It’s your choice whether you raise them when they’re young or when they’re older.’ I’m glad we made the effort to raise them when they were young, because the adult versions are amazing

1) Wife – Living with a dreamer, perfectionist, planner, high energy, workaholic, pundit, low empathy, optimistic, expressive, ADHD, husband isn’t the easiest assignment in the universe, yet Kathy pulls it off with grace and love. I’m blessed 

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Faster Moves

I partner on projects with a couple of coaches who admit they over-complicate things: thinking through too many potential scenarios, creating PowerPoint slides with lots of words, or writing extensive details into a statement of work. My philosophy? Make the decision and get going, use headlines and graphics instead of words, keep everything to less than a page.

While there is value in taking time to make sure all the t’s and i’s are correct, there is also the risk of paralysis analysis. Whenever decision-making comes up with clients, I share the story from Colin Powell’s biography. His belief was when a commander has 40-70 percent probability of being correct, it’s time to move. Otherwise, the enemy will outflank them.

Of course, the 40-70 rule may not be appropriate for every field – such as health care – yet I think every leader has a range that’s right for them. The key is to start paying attention to your decision-making mindset and notice when you knew you knew. You’ll home in on where you feel most confident… and decrease the risk of moving too slowly. 

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Which Witch

by Kelsey Handler

Part III of IV

Multiple people warned me to avoid Salem around Halloween. Apparently, the tourist destination is a madhouse in October and only grows more crowded leading up to the big day. That didn’t stop me and my friend Victoria from visiting the day before All Hallows Eve. 

This semester, I’m in a course called Archives, History, and Collective Memory. We are studying the collective memory of groups over space and time, and how archives contribute to or inhibit memories of figures and events. This has given me much to think about regarding Salem, and the way history is presented, embellished, rewritten, or capitalized on in the town.

Early in the morning on October 30, we caught a full train from Boston to Salem. We arrived in town around 10 a.m. and found the streets quiet. This would change by the time our pre-booked tour started at 11; Essex Street would be crowded and only grow busier throughout the day. When we later headed for the train station at dusk, streams of costumed people would just be arriving to start their festivities.

A favorite part of our daytrip was wandering the less crowded residential streets of historic homes. Each one had a plaque with the date of construction, a few that stretched back to the late 17th century. As in the oldest parts of Boston, you could feel the history under your feet and in the air. (I’m sure residents love that people walk by and gawk as they take photos of their homes, but I also know those homes cost more than I’ll afford in my life, so I don’t feel too badly for them.)

Another favorite part for me was the Salem Witch Trials Memorial Park. Situated next to Charter Street Cemetery (also known as the Old Burying Point), the memorial consists of a pathway surrounded by a stone wall. Within the wall are 20 stone benches, one for each victim of the trials. Names, method of execution, and date of death are engraved on each respective bench. Flowers and small offerings – coins, pebbles, and the odd Pokémon card – rested on the benches. These items stated, “I was here, and I remember you.”

As I was rounding the last row of benches, I overheard a mother telling her young child, “This is where they buried the witches after they burned them.” I refrained from opening my mouth and telling her every detail of that sentence was factually incorrect. 

1. There were no witches in the Salem Witch Trials. All victims were innocent of their bogus charges and legally exonerated decades – and in some cases, centuries – later. 

2. No “witches” were ever burned at the stake in North America; that was Europe. In Salem, nineteen people were hanged, and one was pressed to death. 

3. There are no bodies at the memorial. The victims’ bodies were buried in unmarked graves after their execution, as they were considered unworthy of Christian burial. However, the adjacent cemetery does contain the remains of certain judges and accusers from the trials.

A sign at the entrance to the memorial explained all this. I don’t want to single out a mother who didn’t closely read it while pushing her toddler in a stroller in a crowded area; it’s understandable how she got details mixed up. I also know many tourists to Salem generally aren’t concerned about the details of the real events. They want the fun, easily digestible version. But facts matter. Stories matter. How we learn, remember, and retell these stories matters.

Presenting fanciful tales as truth to children (and adults) is how we create cultures capable of witchcraft hysteria. 

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Never Doubt

Earlier this week I had a coaching session on Zoom with a client and his boss, during which he presented his Development Plan to grow as a leader. When the boss joined in, I immediately noticed what she was wearing, and said: “That’s a really cool Rolling Stones concert shirt.”

She smiled and replied: “Today is my father’s birthday, and each year my family honors him by wearing his favorite band’s shirt. I’ve appeared at corporate events in front of 300 people and still held true to that.”

At the end of the meeting, I told her that I would immediately listen to ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ as a tribute, and she said, ‘That’s my favorite song.’ My client later told me that his boss emailed him that she did the same thing.

Sticking with a commitment requires confidence and belief that it’s the right thing to do – even when you have to appear on stage not dressed as the audience would expect for the occasion. 

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Campus Life

by Kelsey Handler

Part II of IV

It took nine years and a pandemic layoff, but in 2021, I finally returned to school to get my Master of Library and Information Science… something that was a goal when I received my undergraduate degree in 2012. It’s been a virtual curriculum until now. This semester, I’m back in a physical classroom for the first time in a long while.

I was slightly worried being in person would cause some anxiety, but so far, that concern hasn’t manifested. Instead, it’s nice to be on a college campus again and see my professors and classmates without a computer screen between us. If there’s one thing I remember from my lifetime of schooling, it’s how to be a student in a classroom.

As an added benefit, Boston is a lovely backdrop to my studies. My campus, blocks away from Fenway Park, sits across the street from the Muddy River (which is actually more of a creek). It’s part of a larger greenway running though Boston called the Emerald Necklace. There are geese that roam the sidewalks and hardly bother to move for passersby. The trees are starting to show off in orange and red as we travel deeper into fall. Sweater weather has arrived, and I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be.