I grew up during a time when a child who was energetic and found it a challenge to focus was described as ‘fidgety’ or ‘has ants in the pants’ or ‘can’t sit still.’ While there was no test in the sixties for ADHD, the modern diagnosis describes 8-year-old me… and it’s still a challenge as my 64th birthday nears.
Whereas then I was constantly moving, had trouble remembering to do my homework, and would sit for hours reading the World Book Encyclopedia, now it shows up as tuning out in the middle of a discussion, continually pointing out things as I drive, and going deep down the Twitter or IMDB rabbit trail.
There are techniques I use to try and stay on track: look someone in the eye and ‘stack’ their comments to keep from tuning-out, make a ‘to do’ list each day and do the most important things first, practice mindfulness… intentionally thinking about what I’m doing – such as making the bed – to see how long I can go before my mind drifts down another path.
On the golf course, playing by myself, I put in AirPods and listen to podcasts or music. When I swim, it’s only me – no sound in my ears – and 45 minutes of counting freestyle strokes and trying to focus on prayer. During Zoom coaching, I don’t take any notes, looking straight ahead and actively listening to what a client is saying so that I don’t miss anything.
Nearly 40 years ago at a wedding, a lifelong friend I met in second grade told me: “You’re the best 20-second conversationalist I know.” I didn’t take it as a compliment then, and wouldn’t now; however, I do have a better understanding of the reason.
