Extreme Intention

I grew up during a time when a child who was energetic and found it a challenge to focus was described as ‘fidgety’ or ‘has ants in the pants’ or ‘can’t sit still.’ While there was no test in the sixties for ADHD, the modern diagnosis describes 8-year-old me… and it’s still a challenge as my 64th birthday nears.

Whereas then I was constantly moving, had trouble remembering to do my homework, and would sit for hours reading the World Book Encyclopedia, now it shows up as tuning out in the middle of a discussion, continually pointing out things as I drive, and going deep down the Twitter or IMDB rabbit trail.

There are techniques I use to try and stay on track: look someone in the eye and ‘stack’ their comments to keep from tuning-out, make a ‘to do’ list each day and do the most important things first, practice mindfulness… intentionally thinking about what I’m doing – such as making the bed – to see how long I can go before my mind drifts down another path.

On the golf course, playing by myself, I put in AirPods and listen to podcasts or music. When I swim, it’s only me – no sound in my ears – and 45 minutes of counting freestyle strokes and trying to focus on prayer. During Zoom coaching, I don’t take any notes, looking straight ahead and actively listening to what a client is saying so that I don’t miss anything.

Nearly 40 years ago at a wedding, a lifelong friend I met in second grade told me: “You’re the best 20-second conversationalist I know.” I didn’t take it as a compliment then, and wouldn’t now; however, I do have a better understanding of the reason.

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Break Time

This is the final day of my self-imposed abstinence from Twitter (which I heard may have taken a new name while I was away?). I entered this one-month hiatus as a personal cleansing, because my favorite time of year approaches… and once things kick off, the ensuing 20 weeks will include frequent – some might say ‘too often’ – check-ins about the happenings around college football land.

As July progressed, this did not turn out to be a difficult challenge. My family and friends kindly obliged to avoid sending me links to Elon’s playground. There may be stories I missed along the way; however, it turns out nothing earth-shattering, life-changing occurred.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up as usual around 4:45, do stretching and exercises as I listen to Squawk Box on CNBC, scroll through morning reads of a few business newsletters, browse the NY Times headlines, and play Wordle for the 527th consecutive day. Then I’ll head to the YMCA for a six o’clock swim, stationary bike ride and 10 minutes of rowing. When I come home, I’ll add X back on my iPhone and see what’s new in the sports world.

On July 1, I took on one other adventure: giving up my daily cookies and milk for the month. With a limited diet due to IBS, that ritual was one of my few guilty pleasures. How did it go? Much more difficult than Twitterless. Watch out Tate’s Bake Shop Gluten-Free Chocolate Chips and Lactaid milk. Soon, you’re mine.

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Fast Start

When an individual leaves an organization, HR will often conduct an exit interview to learn the primary reasons for their departure. The responses range from ‘it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up’ (heard that from a client just last week), to ‘this isn’t a healthy environment for me’ (heard that from a client just last month). The insights gained from these meetings provide an opportunity for the employee to be heard… and for the company to learn.

There is a new twist on this, recommended by business guru Adam Grant: an entry interview. He posted a LinkedIn video where he proposed they are a great way to make the onboarding experience meaningful. “I’m seeing a lot of CEOs scramble and say, ‘OK, we’ve got to do exit interviews to figure out from the people who actually left what we can do to keep the people we want to stay.’ I’m a big fan of exit interviews–there’s just one little issue; it is the dumbest time to run them. Why would you wait until people have already committed to walk out the door to say, if only I had a time machine, I would go back to the past and convince you to stay?”

While an entry interview for someone you just hired might seem repetitive, Grant believes the answers you receive may be more open and revealing, since people are more relaxed and less concerned about making a good impression. As for questions to ask, he says many of the same ones as the hiring interview are valuable: ‘Why are you here?’ ‘What are you hoping to learn?’ ‘What are some of the best projects you’ve worked on?’ ‘Tell me about the worst boss you’ve ever had.’ So you can try to emulate the good and avoid the bad.”

Next time you hire a new employee, think about conducting an entry interview. You might learn some things that are so valuable you’ll never have to see them in the exit interview queue. 

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Chatter Bots

Part III of III

For the final test of ChatGPT, I asked it to ‘Help me write my resume’. The first response was an explanation of the importance of a curriculum vitae and steps to write a ‘strong’ one. I changed the query to ‘Will you write it for me’ and received this response:

I’d be happy to provide a template and guide you through the process, but I cannot write your resume for you as it is important that your resume represents your unique skills, experiences, and personality. Here’s a template that you can use as a starting point.

I added the information requested and wrote: ‘Turn the above into a resume for me.’ Within a few seconds the format below appeared with this note at the bottom:

Keep in mind that you should tailor your resume to each job you apply for and highlight the skills and experiences that are most relevant to the position. Good luck with your job search!’

David Handler
Certified Executive Coach

Contact Information:
[Address]
[Phone Number][
Email Address]

Summary:

David is a certified executive coach who partners with senior leaders to clarify their intent and take action to achieve the desired impact. With over 10,000 hours of one-on-one and group coaching experience, he helps clients identify and resolve blind spots that hinder their success and improve their communication skills. David also leads strategic planning sessions and coaches teams to overcome barriers to progress. He has a special focus on the healthcare, technology, energy, food, and franchising industries.

Experience:

Founder | Success Handler, LLC (2003-Present)– Delivered over 10,000 hours of coaching and more than 300 individual Birkman Personality Style debriefings to leaders from various industries
– Focuses on healthcare, technology, energy, food, and franchising industries
– Identifies key areas that impede leaders from serving effectively and works with them to create behavioral change that improves relationships

Senior VP | International Center for Entrepreneurial Development, Inc. (1998-2003)
– Served as marketing leader for five years at an international franchising organization with nine brands
– Acted as the president of one brand for two years

Co-Founder and Executive VP | Anthony Travel, Inc.
– Co-founded a firm that manages travel for more than 80 university athletic departments, including the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex and the University of Notre Dame

Sports Television Producer | Various organizations (1983-1998)
– Produced more than 700 live events, including NFL football and Major League Baseball, and won two national awards during a 15-year career

Education and Thought Leadership:

– Bachelor of Journalism with High Honors, University of Texas at Austin
– Professional Certified Coach (PCC), International Coach Federation
– Keynote and workshop presenter on leadership excellence, communication, talent management, and strategic planning
– Author of “Words Flow Through Me,” a collection of 15 years of published writings

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Lessons Learned

Part I of II

For the past 16 years, each December, I share the biggest lessons that came my way during the year. Throughout 2022, there were plenty:

Good insights – ‘Three of the nation’s best business thinkers walk into a bar…’ Well, not exactly; however, Brene’ Brown, Adam Grant and Simon Sinek recorded podcasts together that are most insightful. Some of the topics they explore are quiet quitting, engagement, and boundaries. While I’m more storyteller than thought leader, I was asked to be a guest on two podcasts this year. It was a lot of fun to be interviewed and share experiences from my four different careers. 

Simple Reminder – Several of my clients said a similar phrase to me: “When I find myself wondering how to handle a challenge, I think: ‘What would David say?’” While it’s not the same magnitude as WWJD, it’s good to know our coaching sessions are having an impact that goes beyond the couple of hours each month we spend together.

Audio Files – Since receiving certification in the Birkman assessment in 2007, I’ve delivered more than 300 individual debriefings and facilitated dozens of team retreats. Those days are filled with vibrant discussion and fun activities that reveal personality styles in real-time. Another survey I use is the Model for Skilled Dialogue, where individuals learn the four communication voices. In October, I delivered it to a group of 125 people at the Houston Zoo. While walking around beforehand with my wife Kathy, the Howler Monkeys were expressing themselves loudly. I recorded their voices for 30 seconds and played it for the group, showing that communication is not limited to humans, even if some sounds are noise to our ears.

Rank Amateur – When dirt mounds popped up, I was certain a family of pesky invaders found refuge in the backyard of our son’s new home. So, I did what any good father would: went to Tractor Supply and purchased a few mole traps. Three weeks later, a 10 square foot area looked like it could host a miniature Moto X competition. So, Kyle did what any good son would: called a professional. He took a shovel, turned over about a foot of soil, looked at me and said: “These aren’t moles, they’re gophers, and there’s probably two of them.” He placed eight tiny traps in the extended tunnels, and a few days and several hundred dollars later… problem eradicated. 

History Lesson – The best TV series we watched this year was 1883, an origin story for the popular Yellowstone. It tells the journey of the Dutton family by wagon from my hometown of Fort Worth to the Northwest. There were moments of joy and heartbreak set amidst beautiful vistas, and realistic portrayals of the challenges pioneers faced while seeking opportunity. Newcomer Isabel May was outstanding as the narrator and central character. Sam Elliott, now 77, still has chops. Tim McGraw, as always, was stellar. Most surprising, as I said each episode: “Who knew Faith Hill could act?” That none of them received an Emmy nomination says everything about award shows. 

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