Category: Motivation

[With our oldest continuing her post-graduate studies on campus in Boston this semester, I asked her to contribute a post each month about her experience.]

by Kelsey Handler

Part I of IV

The day I was born, The Phantom of the Opera had been on Broadway for nearly two years. Fifteen years later, I saw it onstage for the first time in Houston with my father, who was seeing it for the sixth time. The relationship between father and daughter is a central theme in the story, so it’s appropriate my dad passed on his love of both Phantom and musical theatre. When I was growing up, he would often serenade me with “Christine Kelsey, I looOOoove you.”

A few weeks ago, it was announced that Phantom will have its final performance in February, ending its tenure as the longest-running Broadway show (though it will be almost a decade before any other show has the chance to take its crown).

The day after this news dropped, I extended an already-planned trip to New York City the following week and bought tickets to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s masterpiece, something I had missed in seven previous times there. When the production is on Broadway my entire life – when it is practically synonymous with Broadway itself – I prioritized seeing other shows that might not be there for my next visit. But with its end in sight, I knew this was the time, and I spent more money than I should have as a grad student with loans.

No regrets. It was an incredible performance, and I only wish my dad was there to share the experience with me. I expected to tear up at the beginning when the chandelier rises above the audience to that famous eighties synth theme. What I didn’t expect was my senses abandoning their defenses at the end as a wave of ugly crying washed over me, when the weight of what this musical means to me and so many hit*. In that final moment, I was struck by how music heightens each sensation, wakes imagination, captures our memories, then plays them back years later.

The Great White Way will soon shine less bright and the music of the night will play a little softer, but the spirit of Phantom – like the bond between father and daughter – will never die.

* Some might say, like a crystal chandelier

Despite my disappointment in pricing for his upcoming Tour, I am and always will be ‘the biggest Bruce Springsteen fan in Texas.’ The journey started 44 years ago this month… and The Boss is always there to inspire, uplift, challenge me – or just to rock out on a Friday afternoon.

Over the next several months, I’ll share my Top 100 songs. Some are legendary. Some you may not know. All of them touched me.

Thanks to www.springsteenlyrics.com for the deep compilation of Bruce’s writings.

First up, 10 that just missed the list:

Night – One of the oft overlooked songs on Born to Run – the similarities to the title track are clear: blue collar guys, pretty women, fast cars. “You get to work late and the boss man’s giving you hell / Till you’re out on a midnight run / Losing your heart to a beautiful one / And it feels right” These, of course, will be explored much more a few years later with Darkness on the Edge of Town.

Stand on It – Yet another song about cars and guys (imagine!). The pounding drums, guitar solo and Roy Bittan’s piano make for a lot of fun. “Well if you’ve lost control of the situation at hand / Go grab a girl and see a rock and roll band / And stand on it, come on man, stand on it” It’s a good reminder to put your head down and keep going. Recorded in 1985, it was released as the B-side of Glory Days.

Liner Note: Max Weinberg to Rolling Stone (1989): “I remember one night when we were completely packed up to go home and Bruce was off in the corner playing his acoustic guitar. Suddenly the bug hit him, and he started writing these rockabilly songs… That’s when we got Pink Cadillac, Stand on It, and a song called TV Movie. Bruce got on a roll, and when that happens, you just hold on for dear life.”

The E Street Shuffle – Based on character-types encountered in Asbury Park, Springsteen created a dance without any actual steps for the opening track of The Wild, The Innocent, & the E Street Shuffle. “Oh, Little Angel hangs out at Easy Joe’s, it’s a club where all the riot squad goes when they’re cashin’ in for a cheap hustle / But them boys are still on the corner loose and doin’ that lazy E Street Shuffle” The rock and soul sound of the early band – which included Vini Lopez and David Sancious – comes through clearly.   

State Trooper – The acoustic guitar and haunting vocal draws a listener to the agony of the protagonist on a late-night drive. “License, registration, I ain’t got none / But I got a clear conscience ’bout the things that I done / Mister state trooper, please don’t stop me” Nebraska was made as a demo in a spare room of Springsteen’s house with a 4-track cassette recorder. Eventually, the E Street Band re-recorded all the songs, yet he felt that only made them sound worse, so the original version was released.

Further on (up the Road) – The Rising was Bruce’s tribute to the heroes of 9/11. Like My City of Ruins and Waitin’ on a Sunny Day, this track was written prior to that devastating attack, yet became incredibly appropriate. “Got on my dead man’s suit and my smiling skull ring / My lucky graveyard boots and a song to sing / I got a song to sing to keep me out of the cold / And I’ll meet you further on up the road” Springsteen noted his inspiration for the album came a few days afterward, when a stranger pulled up next to his car and said: “We need you now.” 

Spare Parts – Springsteen’s eighth studio album, Tunnel of Love, came out toward the end of his marriage to actress Julianne Phillips. It’s filled with bleak stories, including this one about an abandoned mother who contemplated drowning her young son, then changed her mind. “As he lay sleeping in her bed Janey took a look around at everything / Went to a drawer in her bureau and got out her old engagement ring / Took out her wedding dress tied that ring up in its sash / Went straight down to the pawn shop man and walked out with some good cold cash” 

Western Stars – Bruce’s first studio album in five years was originally recorded in 2010, updated in 2014, re-recorded in 2018, and released in the summer of 2019. Of course, during much of that time he was busy promoting his autobiography and Broadway show. “This record is a return to my solo recordings featuring character driven songs and sweeping, cinematic orchestral arrangements,” Springsteen said. “It’s a jewel box of a record.” The title track is about a Cowboy movie extra coming to grips with aging. “Once I was shot by John Wayne, yeah it was towards the end / That one scene’s bought me a thousand drinks, set me up and I’ll tell it for you, friend”

This Land is Your Land (Live) – The first time I heard this version – likely on the Live/1975-85 box set – I thought it was a great cover of Woody Guthrie’s original, which was an answer song to Kate Smith’s God Bless America. Don’t think I knew there was a second verse. “Now the sun came shining and I was strolling / Oh the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling / And a voice was sounding as the fog was lifting / It said this land was made for you and me”

This Hard Land (Live) – Springsteen wrote in his book Songs: “‘This Hard Land’ traces the search for ‘home’ against the restlessness and isolation that is at the heart of the American character. It’s about friendship and survival and ends the album with a shot of idealism.” Recorded in 1982, it was released 16 years later on Tracks. “Well now even the rain it don’t come around, don’t come around here no more / And the only sound at night’s the wind slamming that back porch door / Yeah it stirs you up like it wants to just blow you down, twisting and churning up the sand / Leaving all them scarecrows lying face down into the dirt of this hard land.” Seems spot-on during this difficult summer of extreme heat and drought. 

This is the time of year college graduates hear words of wisdom at commencement exercises. Tim Cook, Apple CEO, appeared at Gallaudet. Taylor Swift delivered at NYU. Emmanuel Acho spoke at my alma mater, UT-Austin.

Elsewhere, Russell Wilson, Abby Wambach and Dwyane Wade represented the sports world. Kamala Harris, Mike Pence and Condelezza Rice appeared from the political spectrum. Tyler Perry, Henry Winkler and Ken Jeong came from the entertainment industry.

These had me wondering, if I were asked to speak at a graduation, what life lessons would I share with those setting out to find their place in the world? After some reflection, here are five:

1) Your word is the most important asset you own. Be honest and candid. Show up as promised. Fulfill your commitments on time.

2) The ability to listen is an art. It requires eliminating distractions and being fully present for the other person. It means not thinking about what you’re going to say while the other person is speaking. It demands avoiding judgments around what you’re hearing. Like every art form, the ability to listen takes daily practice to master.

3) People don’t spend much time thinking about you. So don’t worry about them. Focus on what you can control and keep moving forward.

4) Work throughout your career with a coach you trust – and allow yourself to be transparent and vulnerable with them. They don’t have to know your industry or understand your role. They do need to be detached from the emotions of your work, ask powerful questions that get you to think, and believe that you’re meant to be great.

5) In the end, how much money you made, how many toys you had, how popular you were don’t really matter. Live each day so that at your funeral, people come up to your family and say things like: ‘he’s the finest man I ever knew;’ ‘she went out of her way to put others first;’ ‘I will always remember the time your [father, mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle] helped me when I needed it most.’ 

My nephew’s wife makes jewelry. She’s also the mother of three young children. The middle one – a rambunctious boy of five – wants to help mom, so he started ‘designing’ bracelets. Then, and given his father is in sales this might not be a surprise, he decided to sell them in the neighborhood.

His technique, which my nephew says came from his own imagination? Knock on a door and try one of two approaches:

Ask the neighbor if they’d like to buy one of his unique designs…
or… Tell them he made a bracelet especially for them, put it on their wrist… then say, ‘You owe me one dollar.’

No telling where he’ll start his career in 2039; however, he’s getting an early start down the path toward success. 

One of my clients shared an analogy with me recently that was most insightful: “We all carry around an invisible backpack. Inside it are all the things we experienced and haven’t let go. Some of those are nice memories. Others simply burden us down.”

Those many images are clear to me.

Growing up in Fort Worth with terrific friends. Winning the boys basketball state championship as seniors. All the people I met in sports television. These bring smiles.

Not buying Berkshire Hathaway Class A shares at $1,000. Calling a friend’s mom the name of their dog – at least 10 times – one afternoon. Failing to forgive someone for too many years. These bring regret.

Perhaps a better approach might be to let the past go and focus on this moment… on what needs to be taken care of today. At least then all those things taking up space in my backpack – and cluttering my mind – would dissipate… and I might be able to recall more important things, like the reason I walked into a room or what I am supposed to pick up at the grocery store.