Category: Motivation

Part I of II

During the 14 years I wrote a monthly newsletter, the December issue focused on the ’10 Things I Learned’ the previous 12 months. While Fast:Forward ended a year ago, I am inspired to share these 2018 lessons:

Experience Speaking – Last month during an alignment meeting, a boss gave this advice to my client, his high-potential employee: ‘You do a great job interacting with peers and those who report to you. However, always know where the line is, and don’t ever cross it.’ Then, fully transparent, he shared his own story from some 20 years before, when – having had a few soda pops – he climbed on stage at a function, took the microphone and told jokes about the competition. A few weeks later he didn’t get a promotion and learned that while most people laughed and applauded that night, a senior leader watched quietly from the back of the room. That person nixed his opportunity… feeling he wasn’t mature enough for the assignment. ‘It took me two years to overcome that 10 minutes,’ he said.

Long Runway – One of our strategic goals this year was to diversify and add new clients outside of the energy industry. The first action steps were launching a new website and creating a couple of marketing flyers. Next up was contacting several target companies and starting to develop relationships with key decision-makers. While it’s been a slow process, we added three new clients. I also was vetted and approved by another large organization and look forward to having an engagement down the road.

Civil Obedience – The political race for the U.S. Senate in Texas saw incumbent Republican Ted Cruz face a strong challenge from previously unknown U.S. House Rep. Beto O’Rourke. Crisscrossing the Lone Star State by van, Beto energized the electorate and turnout soared. The incumbent held on by a few percentage points, while Beto created a brand and might be a candidate for another office in, say, 2020. Regardless of whether you’re Red or Blue, it’s exciting to see more people heading to the polls and exercising their right to choose.

Go Team – Kathy and I spend fall football Saturdays in Austin for UT home games… tailgating with our kids and good friends. At the TCU game in September, more than 100 people – Horns and Frogs alike – attended ‘Papa’s Tailgate’. We drive from Houston the night before or morning of, depending on kickoff, and assist three other couples cooking the day’s food. It’s a wonderfully joyful experience, especially for those of us who bleed burnt orange. The best part – regardless of whether Texas wins – is having conversation with people we don’t know that well and see at most a half-dozen times a year.

Frozen Tundra – I’ve never liked cold weather. Give me Houston humidity. So, of course, I made three business trips to Canada the past six weeks, including twice to far northwest Alberta… a 75-minute connecting flight beyond Calgary. Of course, I purchased thermal gloves, wool socks and a Patagonia ski jacket that’s good to 10-below in order to survive. (My client who lives in Kansas City jokes that I start wearing a sweatshirt once the temperature dips below 70, while he’s still in shorts when it’s 50. That’s not much of an exaggeration.)

Tomorrow: Web 3.0 is here

One of the many Cognitive Biases – errors in thinking when interpreting the world around us – is Self-Serving Bias. Defined as ‘the tendency to claim more responsibility for successes than failures,’ it can be summarized as judging myself by my intentions and judging others by their actions.

When I mess up something, my typical reaction is: ‘Yes, but I meant to pick up milk on the way home.’ When my wife fails to do something similar, I say: ‘But you told me you were going to wash my socks.’ Turns out I hold others to a much higher standard than I do myself.

When out to dinner with another couple, I really hope he picks up the check, and if he doesn’t, I’m fine saying, ‘Let’s split it.’ When going to a ballgame, I really want my buddy to say, ‘I’ll drive,’ and if he doesn’t, I’ll ask, ‘So how do you want to get there?’ When my co-facilitator is five minutes late for our departure, I’m really thinking, ‘How can he not be on time?’ although there are plenty of occasions when I’m a few minutes late for things.

Perhaps a restating of the Golden Rule would be: ‘Stop thinking so much about me.’ That one might actually lead to healthier relationships and provide better results than the old adage.

This past weekend my wife and two of her friends hosted a bridal shower for the daughter of another friend. Only about half of those who received an electronic invitation took the time to respond. Keep in mind all they had to do was click ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’

It could be this is a generational thing – another in the growing list of ‘millennials are ruining ______’ items.* I think it’s something else. We’ve lost the meaning of R.S.V.P. (Répondez s’il vous plâit: ‘please reply’) and the formality of politeness.

Here’s another example. One frustration in my coaching practice is when potential clients don’t give an answer about a possible engagement. Rather than say ‘This isn’t the right fit for me’ or ‘We’ve decided to go in a different direction,’ they disappear without a trace. While it might appear as if they don’t want to disappoint me by not moving forward, it’s more a comment on not wanting to feel badly themselves. In other words, it’s not about me; it’s about them.

In fact, in sales, ‘No’ is one of the best words you can hear. It’s conclusion. It’s closure. It’s time to move on. No response, on the other hand, is open-ended, leaving a ‘So you’re saying there’s a chance’ false impression and means ongoing follow-up.

Things would be a lot better if everyone did the polite thing: respond to invitations (Yes or No) and say ‘No’ when you decide not to move forward on a business opportunity.

*Note: I’m not a member of the ‘millennials are ruining’ tribe. On the contrary, I believe they’re going to be great.

During the bike and rowing portions of my workouts, I continue to listen to podcasts. Some are for business (Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell and Freakonomics). Some for learning (Hidden Brain, Stuff You Missed in History Class, TED WorkLife). Some are just for downright fun (30 for 30, the latest Panoply serial, You Must Remember This).

Recently, Seth used his weekly ‘Akimbo’ time to answer listeners’ questions. One person asked how a coach can expand his business. Seth said the problem is there are two kinds of people in the world: “Those who have a coach and those who don’t.” Thus, there are only two approaches to growing a coaching practice, he said: “Convince those who have a coach to change, or convince those who don’t that they need you.”

I agree with him… and both those are challenging tasks.

Once I jumped in the pool, I started thinking about other ‘Only two kinds of people…’ scenarios. Here are some of the ones that popped into my head:

Those who like sports and those who don’t
Those who eat at McDonald’s and those who don’t
Those who have annual physicals and those who don’t
Those who save for retirement and those who don’t
Those who own iPhones and those who don’t
Those who mow their lawns and those who don’t
Those who sing in the shower and those who don’t
Those who smoke and those who don’t
Those who believe in God and those who don’t
Those who listen to podcasts and those who don’t

About that point, it occurred to me: Everything is a binary choice!

Which is why I’ll leave you with one more binary choice. There are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who write blogs and those who don’t.