Category: Commentary

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Basic Etiquette

This past weekend my wife and two of her friends hosted a bridal shower for the daughter of another friend. Only about half of those who received an electronic invitation took the time to respond. Keep in mind all they had to do was click ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’

It could be this is a generational thing – another in the growing list of ‘millennials are ruining ______’ items.* I think it’s something else. We’ve lost the meaning of R.S.V.P. (Répondez s’il vous plâit: ‘please reply’) and the formality of politeness.

Here’s another example. One frustration in my coaching practice is when potential clients don’t give an answer about a possible engagement. Rather than say ‘This isn’t the right fit for me’ or ‘We’ve decided to go in a different direction,’ they disappear without a trace. While it might appear as if they don’t want to disappoint me by not moving forward, it’s more a comment on not wanting to feel badly themselves. In other words, it’s not about me; it’s about them.

In fact, in sales, ‘No’ is one of the best words you can hear. It’s conclusion. It’s closure. It’s time to move on. No response, on the other hand, is open-ended, leaving a ‘So you’re saying there’s a chance’ false impression and means ongoing follow-up.

Things would be a lot better if everyone did the polite thing: respond to invitations (Yes or No) and say ‘No’ when you decide not to move forward on a business opportunity.

*Note: I’m not a member of the ‘millennials are ruining’ tribe. On the contrary, I believe they’re going to be great.

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Either Or

During the bike and rowing portions of my workouts, I continue to listen to podcasts. Some are for business (Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell and Freakonomics). Some for learning (Hidden Brain, Stuff You Missed in History Class, TED WorkLife). Some are just for downright fun (30 for 30, the latest Panoply serial, You Must Remember This).

Recently, Seth used his weekly ‘Akimbo’ time to answer listeners’ questions. One person asked how a coach can expand his business. Seth said the problem is there are two kinds of people in the world: “Those who have a coach and those who don’t.” Thus, there are only two approaches to growing a coaching practice, he said: “Convince those who have a coach to change, or convince those who don’t that they need you.”

I agree with him… and both those are challenging tasks.

Once I jumped in the pool, I started thinking about other ‘Only two kinds of people…’ scenarios. Here are some of the ones that popped into my head:

Those who like sports and those who don’t
Those who eat at McDonald’s and those who don’t
Those who have annual physicals and those who don’t
Those who save for retirement and those who don’t
Those who own iPhones and those who don’t
Those who mow their lawns and those who don’t
Those who sing in the shower and those who don’t
Those who smoke and those who don’t
Those who believe in God and those who don’t
Those who listen to podcasts and those who don’t

About that point, it occurred to me: Everything is a binary choice!

Which is why I’ll leave you with one more binary choice. There are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who write blogs and those who don’t.

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Buyer’s Resource

Part II of II

As Kyle relocates to Nashville, he’s considering buying a house, rather than paying rent. He asked me what advice I have… and this is what I shared:

When we bought our first home, I created a list of things important to us. Don’t know where that is; however, here are a few key ones I remember:

> Everything is a negotiation, like buying a car. Find out what homes are selling for ($/sf). (In a hot area, they might be going for the list price – or above in California; however, typically it’s less.)

> Your Realtor’s role is to represent you. That said, he/she has minimal financial motivation for you to pay a lower price. Here’s the math:

– $300,000 listing price; Realtor commission is 6% split with Buyer and Seller agent. Agency gets half. So your Realtor receives 1.5%

– 1.5% of $295,000 is $4,425 / 1.5% of $285,000 is $4,275. While you pay $10,000 more ($30,000 over lifetime of 30-year mortgage), the Realtor’s only risk is $150. Think about how many more hours he/she has to work if you don’t get the first contract. More homes to show you, another contract to submit, etc.

> Don’t buy on a main ingress/egress neighborhood street. Too much traffic (risk) with young kids

> Don’t buy a corner lot

> Cul de Sacs are good: privacy and security

> Big backyards are nice; however, it takes longer to do the yard; have a sprinkler system unless you want to spend a lot of time moving hoses

> A pool is costly (maintenance, utility bills, and eventual repairs) and takes time to keep clean all year

> Find out about HOA annual fees

> Pay for an inspection. There might be things you can’t see that need repairing… like A/C or termites. The inspection will turn up something (that’s their job). You have every right to – and should – go back to the seller and ask them to make the repairs or give you a discount on purchase price.

> See if they’ll provide or you can get a home warranty. Usually these are around $550 per year and cover A/C, appliances, etc.

> Lay on your back in every room and look up at the ceiling. See where there might be issues like nails sticking through or cracks. (Might be covered by a fresh coat of paint.) Also, lay on your side and make sure the floor is flat. I remember a How I Met Your Mother episode where a ball rolled across a slanted floor. That’s a foundation issue… and can be really costly

> Check doors and windows by hand to see if there are drafts: increases utility costs

> Walk the driveway, sidewalks and garage for cracks and other issues (like boards that don’t line up)

> Find out when the roof was put on (perhaps when built?) and how long it’s manufactured for (20 or 30 years)

> Drive by the house at different times of the day to see what the neighborhood is like (kids playing or teenagers gunning their engines? young families or empty nesters? anyone running a car lot or repairs out of their driveway?)

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Movin’ Out

Part I of II

At Target today to pick up some things, I saw a lot of moms – and a few dads – shopping for essential back-to-school items. One little boy of about six was smiling and saying how excited he is for what’s ahead. That took me back to making those annual shopping sprees with our own kids.

Of course, they grow up so fast… and before you know it, they leave for college. Then, if things fall right, that first job is back in their home city – and they have an apartment about 15 minutes from the house where they spent those important formative years.

And so it was for our son, Kyle. Until recently… when ExxonMobil informed him that he’s relocating to Nashville. He, too, is excited about what’s ahead… and, as I write this, he’s there looking for a place to live for a few years until the next assignment beckons.

I’ll miss the young man I called ‘Little Buddy’ as a boy and now refer to as ‘Bud.’ I’ll miss my golf partner. I’ll miss the Sunday dinners at our house. I’ll miss having him help with ‘just a few small things’ whenever he visits. I’ll miss seeing his great smile. Yet, I know this is the way it’s supposed to be. We raise our kids to find their own paths and add value to the world.

As the Oak Ridge Boys’ song says: “When you get down on your knees tonight / And thank the Lord for his guiding light / Pray they turn out right / Thank God for Kids.” While there will be distance between us, my relationship with Kyle is a great one. And for that I truly am most thankful.

Next Time: My Home-Buying Checklist

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Great Thoughts

Ideas have flowed through my brain my whole life. I once had a list of about 20 that might be worth pursuing. A few I followed up on. Most fell by the wayside after a little research and further discernment.

(Nobody wanted to fertilize their lawns by placing a pellet in their sprinkler system… all because they worried about it backing up into their water supply. Who knew?)

One idea tuned into a home run: Anthony Travel… a sports travel company. One turned into this 15-year journey of fun: Success Handler, LLC. One appeared in the last 90 days and I was so certain it had legs I immediately reserved the URL for two years.

I shared this idea with a few trusted sources and the response was positive. A couple folks even helped me clarify exactly what I wanted to achieve. I was excited, yet moved slowly, because, well – you know – I have this other gig.

If you ascribe to the theory that the universe is one big giant humongous source of energy, then you might agree that when you have an idea, you’re actually tapping in to the consciousness that already exists. In other words, it ain’t original.

Thus, I shouldn’t have been surprised when six weeks after I came up with this wonderful bit of ingenuity… one of Oprah’s good friends published a book on the same subject.

So I moved on. Just you wait though. I’m thinking about one now that could be big. We’re talking really big.

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