Lessons Learned – #10

Each December, I take a break from my typical monthly newsletter to reflect on the ‘Top 10 Things’ I learned during the year. Here’s wishing you much joy and prosperity this holiday season… as we begin with Lesson #10:

Tracking Knowledge – In March, I started logging a spreadsheet of what I learn. One reason was so I wouldn’t have to scratch my head to remember the lessons below. There are 57 entries about things I didn’t know – from notes on how to be a better coach, to examples of excellent customer engagement, to the humility of Pope Francis. (‘When he was still Rev. Jorge Bergoglio, the man who espouses service to others did laundry for seminarians under his tutelage.’) You might want to begin keeping your own list January 1… and chart how much you grow during 2014.

 

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Memorable Decade

Before sitting down to write this month’s issue of Fast:Forward, I re-read each of my previous 119 newsletters. Over the past 10 years, I’ve written about three hurricanes, two inaugurations and one lengthy economic malaise. I embarked on several journeys knowing I would share the experiences with readers, including: booking the first-ever JetBlue flight out of Houston; inviting my favorite author, William Martin – who I didn’t know – to have dinner in Boston; taking up swimming as exercise at age 50. I opened up about jury duty for a capital murder trial and having to decide my position on the death penalty, reflected on the passing of two mentors and described what it was like to be a blind shopper.

My first year-end ‘Lessons Learned’ column appeared in 2007, and the response was so positive I’ve made it an annual endeavor. (Good decision: two of the three Decembers prior to that I had discussed the wisdom of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Marcia Brady.) Other times I shared stories about the seafood restaurant in Ft. Myers that ran out of fish, the formerly homeless young man from our community who is now a budding NBA star and the cleanest bathrooms in America at Buc-ee’s.

The best compliment I received from a reader was: “You have a talent for taking people and events that don’t appear to have anything in common with your point and making it all come together with ideas for business and life.” Emails like that ignite the energy that flows through my fingers onto the keyboard. I’m the vessel; the inspiration clearly comes from elsewhere.

Overall, I identified the list below of 77 people who – in all their human frailty – have appeared in my newsletters as guiding lights of leadership, vision and grace:

Presidents
John Adams
Abraham Lincoln
John F. Kennedy
Gerald Ford
Ronald Reagan
Barack Obama

Supreme Court Justices
Sandra Day O’Connor

Politicians
Robert Gates
Rudy Giuliani (2 times)
Colin Powell (2)

Astronauts
John Glenn
Neil Armstong
Walter Schiarra

Heroes
Baby Jessica
Louis Zamperini
Chesley Sullenberger

Visionaries
Gutenberg
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
Thomas Edison
Henry Ford (2)
Walt Disney (3)
Warren Buffett
Steve Jobs
Michael Dell
Allan Mullaly
David Neeleman (2)
Bob Parsons
Mark Zuckerberg
Tony Hsieh
Elon Musk (2)

Fiction Writers
Edgar Allan Poe
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Mark Twain
J.K. Rowling
William Martin (3)

Business Writers
Peter Drucker
Stephen Covey (2)
Tom Peters (2)
Jim Collins (3)
Seth Godin (5)
Malcolm Gladwell
Patrick Lencioni (3)
Daniel Pink
Marhsall Goldsmith

Musicians
The Beatles
Mick Jagger
Bruce Springsteen (3)
Michael Jackson
Sting
Bono
Nickelback
Supersonic

Personalities
Will Rogers
Leopold Stokowski
Paul Harvey
Dick Clark
Tim Russert
Merle Harmon

Entertainers
Maureen McCormick
George Lucas
Michael J. Fox
Sandra Bullock

Athletes
Jackie Robinson
Darrell Royal
James Street
Herb Brooks
Bart Conner/Nadia Comaneci
Bill Walsh
Michael Phelps (4)
James Casey
Tim Tebow
Colt McCoy/Jordan Shipley
Tiger Woods (2)
Rory McIlroy
Missy Franklin
Jimmy Butler

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Surprise Ending

Last week a client and I were walking across a sky bridge in downtown Houston, when he stopped to speak with a gentleman coming in the other direction. After a few moments, he introduced me. The acquaintance handed me a business card. I fumbled for my wallet, only to discover my supply was empty, so I opened my portfolio where I keep extras and handed him one. The interaction took three minutes and we were all on our way back to work.

As is my habit, I wrote a brief note to the new contact and dropped it in the mail. I then forwarded a copy of our latest e-newsletter. A day later he replied with thanks and shared a link to his biography. Reading it, I learned he previously was an attorney at the same law firm as my oldest brother, so I sent an email asking if they ever met. There were 600 attorneys there and he was in a different city; however, he replied they had indeed crossed paths.

My brother once shared a story about serving as defendant’s counsel for the largest antitrust suit in U.S. history. Sitting in court the morning the judge read the verdict after months of trial, he looked across the aisle and noticed the plaintiff’s attorneys were all big smiles in anticipation that a 40% contingency would make them instant millionaires.

Although the trial was 51 miles from Dallas, my brother said opposing counsel’s wives came to experience the anticipated victory. When the judge announced for his client, the shocked attorneys on the other side sunk in their seats and their spouses made a hasty exit. Of course, as a defendant’s attorney, he received an hourly rate, not the really big bucks.

In January 2001, T. Richard Handler, Jr – born 67 years ago today – looked in the mirror and saw his eyes were yellow. Thinking hepatitis, he went to the hospital. Three days later, doctors told him that a rare form of cancer had invaded his body. He died that June.

At his memorial – which was attended by nearly 1,000 people – I ended my eulogy by reading what he wished to be said at that celebration of a life well lived: “Tell them I was a faithful husband, a loving father, a caring person… and a pretty fair trial attorney.”

 

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Decade Down

Next month marks the completion of a decade writing Fast:Forward, which debuted January 24, 2004, as The Franchisee Focus. It was an MS Word document sent to 10 people at a time from our email account… and 32 people read it – most of them family and friends. You can find it on our website, although be forewarned, my writing style is in its infancy.

Eighteen months later the first fancy edition premiered with a new name, graphics, a more news-like column layout and automated distribution to our ever-growing master list that eventually peaked at more than 2,000. January ’08 brought an updated picture of yours truly… and at the beginning of this year – after I grew weary of people saying, “You look so young” – we switched to the current version.

It’s been a fun ride. Special thanks go to my wife Kathy and brother Mike, who have graciously proofed every single issue. The folks at eMail Networks – first Katherine Brown, then Rachel Dawson and for several years now Martyn Castens – have been great partners… always willing to provide technical support and fast response. With all these people gifting their time behind the scenes, only one typo made it through and ended up in your In Box. (Other than, of course, a few summers ago when I inadvertently sent the entire list a first proof while writing on a Saturday. Oops!)

While thinking about the 720 hours I have spent to date producing these is a little overwhelming, knowing some one or some many might find insight or inspiration each month makes it worthwhile.

Last week, I facilitated a leadership retreat for my church. One of the participants, a priest, shared that whenever he’s giving counseling or in the confessional and doesn’t know how to respond, he simply pauses and says, “I’m waiting for the Holy Spirit to give me the words.” Whether it’s the Holy Spirit, the writing gods or simply my imagination run wild, each month the words somehow appear as I type.

For some time I’ve sensed 10 years is a nice round number… and a good jumping off point. I came thisclose to ending Fast:Forward when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve; however, the muse continues to speak to me, so I’ll be around a while longer.

Thank you for reading. I hope there were some occasional words of wisdom the past 120 months that made a small difference in your work and life.

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Assess This

One of the approaches we coaches like to utilize as part of our work with clients is a personality style assessment. “Psychometric instruments” date back to Carl Jung and his study of personality typology in the 1920’s. A few decades before developing theories on individuation, the Swiss psychotherapist had several meetings with Sigmund Freud, so there is a lot of history behind these.

Perhaps the widest used tools are Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and DISC. Chances are good that if you applied for a position and had to ‘take a test’ as part of the interview process, it was one of those. Actually, the word ‘test’ is a misnomer. You don’t get a grade and there is no passing or failing. By asking a series of questions that force you to pick answers describing you from the ‘most like’ to the ‘least like’ – or through similar queries – the logarithms place you in one of four styles quadrants.

While I’m not sure how the behind-the-scenes analysis works, I can confidently say that after taking more than 20 different assessments the past 10 years, every one of them captured me. (No, I don’t believe this is a power of suggestion thing. It’s just something people far smarter than me figured out decades ago.)

The tool of preference for my coaching practice is Birkman, which uses colors. My “Interests” are Blue – I like to plan, think of new approaches and influence directly. Yep! My “Usual” is Red: People typically see me as friendly, energetic and frank. Indeed! My “Needs/Stress” is also Red. I prefer those who encourage group interaction, offer clear-cut solutions and give plenty to do. Correct! Under duress, I can be restless, impulsive and dismissive of other’s feelings. True!

The benefit to the individual is to better understand how you see the world and how others see you. That’s why I pull my Birkman report out every few months and read it again. There’s nothing like a gentle reminder of who I am to keep me focused on who I desire to be.

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