Major Assist

The NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament continues tonight… and perhaps the most surprising remaining participant is Texas A&M. Not because they aren’t worthy; however, when you’re down 10 with less than 40 seconds remaining in your second round game, it’s unlikely you’ll win and advance. (‘Unlikely’ as in never happened before in the history of college basketball.)

Watching those moments unfold Sunday night – with Northern Iowa continually turning the ball over under the Texas A&M basket, including twice failing to execute the always sure-fire ‘bounce it off your opponent’s leg and out of bounds’ play – there was clear evidence of a lack of leadership for the Panthers.

(Why didn’t the player inbounding the ball run the baseline to create some space between himself and the defender, and give his teammates a better chance to get open? Why didn’t the coach tell them to throw the ball to the other end of the court, so, even if the Aggies intercepted, time would run off the clock? Basic situational plays high school teams practice.)

In moments of distress, someone has to have the presence of mind to take control – ‘Everybody be quiet and listen to me’ – and provide guidance on what needs to happen to ensure success.

Neither talent without instruction, nor instruction without talent can produce the perfect craftsman.” ~ Vitruvius

Former Students of Texas A&M University like to say, “Aggies Never Quit,” and in this instance – even with the unprecedented help from UNI – it was clear their basketball team adhered to that long-standing mantra. (Not so much for the dozens of Tweets I saw from media during the last two minutes of the game congratulating Northern Iowa and commenting on the Aggies’ missed opportunity.)

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Missed Assignment

When our youngest walks across the stage in 10 weeks in her cap and gown to receive her high school diploma, I will be happy to see that phase of our life complete. It’s not because I’m anxious to be empty nesters – although Kathy might shout ‘Hallelujah!’ the moment she finishes making sack lunch #5,940. It’s because, hopefully, that will bring an end to all the drama we’ve watched unfold the past 20 years among our kids’ circle of friends.

These range from ‘he said-she said’ gossip, to ‘I’m not speaking to him anymore’ conflicts, to ‘why do you have to spend so much time with her?’ rivalries. It got really old… and that’s not even counting all the teachers and administrators that sometimes made me question just who the adults were in the room.

Of course, I’m not so naïve as to think these things won’t continue in college and into her career. She’ll have to deal with the ‘I don’t want to sit with him at football games’ situations beginning in the fall, and transition into ignoring ‘Let me warn you about Susie in accounting’ comments when she starts working.

During childhood, some youngsters discover that creating stress around them leads to attention and, ultimately, they are rewarded for this behavior… possibly because their parents grow weary of dealing with it. The approach worked so well, they carried it into adulthood – perhaps unintentionally and subconsciously… nevertheless disrupting everyday peace in the workplace.

It’s as if those folks feed off the turmoil… so they keep flaming the conflict fire. Too bad they never learned the fourth ‘R’ – Reaction – and mastered the skill of controlling theirs.

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On Forgiveness

Last week, Ingrid Williams died in a head-on collision in Oklahoma City when another car crossed the center median. She left behind five children. Yesterday, her husband – Thunder assistant coach Monty Williams – delivered an amazing eulogy. While I’m not sure my faith is the size of a mustard seed, his is bigger than the entire tree. This is an excerpt:

“This will work out. Doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Doesn’t mean it’s not painful. Doesn’t mean we don’t have tough times, and we’re gonna have tough times. But what we need is the Lord – and that’s what my wife tried to exhibit every single day…

“Everybody’s praying for me and my family, which is right, but let us not forget that there were two people in this situation… and we have no ill will towards that family. In my house, we have a sign that says: ‘As for my house, we will love and serve the Lord.’ We cannot serve the Lord, if we don’t have a heart of forgiveness. That family didn’t wake up wanting to hurt my wife… and we as a group – brothers united in unity – should be praying for that family, because they grieve as well…

“God will work this out. My wife is in Heaven. God loves us. God is love and when we walk away from this place today, let’s celebrate because my wife is where we all need to be – and I’m envious of that, but I’ve got five ‘crumb snatchers’ I gotta deal with.

“I love you guys for taking time out of your day to celebrate my wife. We didn’t lose her. When you lose something, you can’t find it. I know exactly where my wife is. I’ll miss holding her hand. I’ll miss talking with my wife…

“Let’s not lose sight of what’s important. God is important. What Christ did on the cross is important.”

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Perfect Clients

After a dozen years as a business coach, I’ve interacted with hundreds of leaders – many in one-on-one coaching sessions and a lot in both small and large groups. A few I have worked with for more than 200 sessions. Some have become good friends. Many enjoyed the coaching experience and moved on to the next phase of their business/careers. A handful stuck their toes in the waters, weren’t willing to commit to change and quickly exited the growth highway.

Recently I saw someone’s profile of the four characteristics of the ‘perfect’ coaching client:

Learner – Continuously develops her talents
Accountable – Open to new approaches and willing to change
Investor – Committed to investing his or the company’s money in outside expertise
Humble – Knows she doesn’t have all the answers and wants to grow through others

This is an excellent description… although not quite complete. I would add these attributes:

Trusting – Believes the coach has his best interests at heart
Curious – Asks a lot of questions about other leaders’ approaches
Transparent – Willing to open up and share what she believes and how she does things
Vulnerable – Understands that he may hear some things about himself that are surprising

The arc of one of my engagements is fast start, lengthy plateau and glide to the finish. There are many tools we utilize early on, such as: personality style assessments; 360 feedback from supervisors, peers and direct reports; and, in-the-moment ‘shadowing’ of personal interactions. Then the person being coached (PBC) creates a development plan… and the ongoing sessions are coaching to the plan. At the end, there is typically a handoff from the leader to her boss – so momentum continues after my time there is complete.

Regardless of a coach’s preferred style, the most important part of the process is the PBC is willing to take the first step to improving his/her leadership abilities. If that occurs, great things await down the road.

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Back Again

So I looked up recently and realized somehow – except for my annual year-end lessons recap – I forgot to Blog since August. OK… so I didn’t really forget, it’s just that these missives took a backseat to other areas of focus in my practice.

That happens, doesn’t it? You get rolling along – on a project or assisting new customers or picking up the slack for a departed employee – and suddenly weeks have passed quickly.

One of the most frequent topics my clients bring up during coaching sessions is how to prioritize effectively and efficiently. Of course, everyone has a boss (even CEOs) and often that person is the driving force behind the topic du jour… or du month. That said, leaders at all levels make conscious decisions every day as to where they will spend time.

The key to making the right choices is to continually check your output against what drives the most value for your business. Much like it says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time to every purpose. Sometimes you have to be in the weeds. Sometimes you need to be strategic.

The roadblocks and disruptions occur when you lose control over which time is right now.

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