Reflections by David Handler
My fourth most valuable lesson in 2011:
Better Ending – A friend’s daughter graduated in May after playing four years of collegiate softball. Each season she suffered a major injury yet kept battling back. Credit Suisse hired her when the person conducting the interview happened to have been a softball player whose career was injury-shortened. There’s usually a silver lining in all setbacks, if you’re willing to look for it.
Growing up I played a lot of golf with three lifelong friends. In 1980, the hottest summer on record before this one, we’d tee off at first daylight – 6 a.m. – to beat the heat. Those were great times and I have lasting memories of our outings on the links. Sadly, in October 1982, one of our foursome died in a car accident.
The following summer, the three of us left behind decided to start a golf tournament to honor our friend. The first outing had 12 players. Over the next decade it steadily grew, and we typically had 88 participants. During years 13-23, another good friend took the reins and did a great job. Through it all, we raised more than $100,000 for a scholarship fund at our high school in Fort Worth. After the 2005, tournament, everyone knew the time had come to end it.
Then one year ago this week, another friend reached out and asked if we would allow him to restart it. “That was such a wonderful chance for everyone to get together every year,” he said. “I’d be willing to do all the work, if you guys will tell me what needs to happen.” Of course, we said yes, and on Sunday 40 of our long-time players will tee it up in the 24th Paul Knippel Memorial.
I turned 23 the week of that first tournament. Everyone who played was within a few years of my age. Now we’re on either side of 50. This time, my 17-year-old son is playing with me, along with my 21-year-old nephew and my brother. By grace, those of us in the Class of ’78 have lived a lot of life Paul never had the opportunity to experience. Somewhere, he’ll be smiling as we gather again. Life passes quickly. Make sure you reconnect with those who matter.
Today marks the end of the annual three-week Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. Anyone living outside of the Bayou City might think that’s just a small gathering of rowdy Texans whoopin’ and hollerin’ about steer wrestling and saddle bronc riding.
While there is that, this year more than two million people visited the exhibits and midway, and up to 74,000 fans piled into Reliant Stadium each day to see performances by entertainers like Sugarland, Janet Jackson, Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, Martina McBride, Lady Antebellum, Kid Rock, KISS and Brad Paisley.
Since 1932, the organization with 24,000 volunteers has contributed more than $235 million to area youth. It’s the heart of the city’s charitable efforts and an important ‘gotta be there’ social scene.
My 13-year-old daughter and I took advantage of a beautiful Spring Break day last week to pay $12 to park, drop $20 on games of chance, fork over $30 on food and – the best deal of all – spend just $20 to see CMA Female Vocalist of the Year Miranda Lambert.
Shortly after making our way through the entrance gate, I asked Kirsten to stop and turn around. I wanted to look over her shoulder to see if I recognized someone I knew in college. Although somewhat uncertain, I approached the man, said my name, and heard in reply, “David Handler, I know you.”
He immediately introduced me to his wife and two teenagers, and we spent a too quick 10 minutes reminiscing. I told Kirsten how we lived on the same floor in the huge Jester Center dormitory. I also reminded her that I’ve spoken to my kids about ‘the great amateur wrestler who never lost a match’ on many occasions.
My friend said he is an attorney in Houston, having graduated from UT Law School. His daughter smiled, embarrassed yet proud, when I told her what a great man she has for a father. It was a wonderful chance meeting after three decades, and we followed up by exchanging emails. Chances are 30 more years will pass without our crossing paths.
The next time you’re having a down day, think about my long lost friend who is achieving so much in life, and you’re sure to find inspiration. Stephon Breedlove – wrestling champion, attorney at law, family man – is blind. So is his wife.
What’s the seventh most important lesson I learned during 2010?
Passages – This year I lost two uncles, an aunt and two cousins. As my friend said, “It’s the stage we are at in life.” I hadn’t spent much time with them in decades, so I decided the best way to pay tribute would be to compile our family tree on ancestry.com – a terrific free website where you can upload stories and pictures of relatives. While it took many hours to add 428 members dating to the 17th century, the historical record should help our next generation connect with their roots.
William Martin just released his latest novel – City of Dreams – featuring recurring characters Peter Fallon and Evangeline Carrington searching for a box of priceless Revolutionary War bonds. After reading the comments below about how he’s utilizing social media to promote the book, return to my e-newsletter and use “Send This To A Friend” to redirect Fast:Forward to someone who would enjoy reading it – or post a link on your Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or favorite social site.
Shoot me a quick e-mail with “Done” in the Subject line afterward. (Honor system in place!) I’ll randomly draw one name from all responses – and that person will receive an autographed copy of City of Dreams.
> View a short trailer on City of Dreams to experience just how much the publishing world is changing.
William Martin’s Comments:
“The traditional platforms are being dismantled. There may be half a dozen newspapers left in the country that continue to review books on a daily basis. And other platforms are being closed to writers. Just the other day I was supposed to be on a local televison show to talk about “City of Dreams.” The host was ready to do the the show. Then the higher-ups saw an interview with another writer and said, “No more writers.” So no more Martin on that TV station. The old ways of doing things are changing. Out in media land, they’re all worried. They’re all scared. They’re all cutting.
So what do you do? You can’t quit. You have to find new ways to market yourself. Instead of being swamped by the cyberwave that is sweeping everything before it, you should try to catch its crest and dive into it.
I haven’t mastered Twitter and don’t think I want to. Don’t understand all the “following” business. And I haven’t pushed too hard on Linked-In. I have friends who are urging me in that direction, but you can only do so much. I decided to use FaceBook. I’ve figured it out. It’s easy to post things there. I refuse to tell you what I had for breakfast or what kind of beer I like. But I’m able to tell readers about my characters when I’m writing and about my events when I’m promoting.
I don’t think FB will change my life. I only have about 500 friends and about 130 on my fan page but they say that you only need about a thousand real fans to help you get the ball rolling. I’ve sold a lot of books over the years, and I’ve counted on a lot more than a thousand fans. But FB reaches people who are genuinely interested, the kind of people who can help light the lttle brushfires of interest that can burst into a best selling conflagration. That’s how viral marketing – I’d call it brushfire marketing – works. At my book launch on May 11, we had an SRO crowd, in part thanks to FB. So friend me or join the fan page and see the pictures from that night. Help me toward the thousand fans who I hope will light matches in the brush around the country and help me onto the best seller list again.”