Youthful Joy

It’s a rainy fall Saturday afternoon in 1970. I’m 10 years old. My friend Chris and I are at my father’s furniture store in Ft. Worth. Rambunctious fifth graders jumping on sofas and beds. Skipping between dining room tables playing paper football. First one to 100 wins.

In those days, there was only one college football game on TV each week. On the radio is a UT football game. Probably Rice. Maybe Baylor. The Longhorns are defending national champions. Riding a 25-game winning streak that would reach 30 leading up to a New Year’s Day matchup with Notre Dame. Connie Alexander is vividly calling play by play.

The Longhorns coach, Darrell Royal, was renowned for his homespun sense of humor:

“Breaks balance out. The sun don’t shine on the same ol’ dog’s rear end every day.”

“He’s not very fast, but maybe Elizabeth Taylor can’t sing.”

“[TCU is] like a bunch of cockroaches. It’s not what they eat and tote off, it’s what they fall into and mess up that hurts.”

And, his most famous quote: “Dance with the one who brung you.”

It’s the summer of 2012. I’m 52 years old. Earlier this year, DKR’s wife announced the 87-year-old legend suffers from dementia. “Every day since Darrell’s diagnosis,” she said, “I deal with the stress of managing everything without my best friend at my side helping me make decisions.” I met Coach Royal a few times during my television career, and he was as warm and charming as your grandfather. It’s sad to think he doesn’t remember all the great things his teams did that made me into a lifelong fan.

Chris and I went to that ’71 Cotton Bowl together. Sat in the stands… by ourselves. I lost a bet when his dad’s Fighting Irish beat my two older brothers’ Longhorns. I paid him the nickel on the way to the car.

We attended grade school and high school together. Played at least 200 rounds of golf as kids. Shared a dorm room for a year at UT before he transferred to Notre Dame. After college, we rented an apartment for a few years. His younger brother John was the co-founder of our travel company, godfather of our daughter and my most trusted confidant.

I’ve learned a lot from the Anthony brothers over the past four decades. Here’s hoping I never forget all the wonderful memories.

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Lessons Learned – #5

What’s the fifth most important lesson I learned this year?

Father Time – For a service project leading up to his confirmation, my son decided we would spend a day working with Habitat for Humanity. A June day. In Houston. During the hottest summer on record. Our eight-person team painted the entire outside of a house in six hours. These were our only instructions: “be safe; ask for help if you don’t know; treat it like your own home; have fun.” Simple is often best. By the way, the grateful homeowner contributed 250 hours of labor in exchange for an interest-free note on her new 1,200 square foot residence.

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Always Remember

Last week, our youngest – for an 8th grade class – had to interview someone about the ‘most historical moment’ of his/her lifetime. She chose her grandfather, who just celebrated his 80th birthday. He told her the assassination of JFK tops his list, as he was too young to remember Pearl Harbor, although having spent 27 years as a naval fighter pilot beginning in 1954, he certainly understands the meaning and significance of ‘a date which will live in infamy.’

I was three-and-a-half on November 22, 1963, and have been fascinated by JFK since my sophomore geography teacher told us about his experience as a senior in high school in Dallas on that fateful day. I’ve read most of the conspiracy books, watched all the famous news programs, walked Dealey Plaza and spent time in the Sixth Floor Museum. I’ve even seen Lee Harvey Oswald’s unmarked grave in Rose Hill cemetery – a hunt completed with my sister and brother-in-law on the 25th anniversary of the tragedy.

Today, we remember the victims of 9/11, so I asked our daughter – who’s a senior in college – what she recalls from being a sixth grader in 2001:

“They didn’t tell us about it right away, but we knew something was wrong, because teachers were crying and kids were being picked up. After a while we had this assembly, and the guy basically told us God had performed so many miracles that day, which didn’t make sense to me. Oh, and I remember asking one of the lunch aides why kids were leaving, and she said ‘must be a lot of dentist appointments.’ None of the adults knew how to handle the situation. They saw us as kids, but a lot changed for us on that day. As part of the post-9/11 generation, I think we would better handle something like this, or at least know how to talk about it.”

It’s a common conversation piece to ask those who experienced historical moments where they were and what they were doing when they found out. For those alive today, the discussions might include the Crash of 1929, Pearl Harbor, Germany’s surrender, Jackie Robinson, JFK, the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, Neil Armstrong, Nixon’s resignation, Challenger, the fall of the Berlin Wall and 9/11.

Of course, as time passes, memories become less clear. Yet, as long as we pause to reflect, those dramatic events will remain part of who we are as a nation. We’ll pass them on to future generations, and hopefully teach them new lessons. A friend who’s a printer made a magnet for clients a couple of weeks after 9/11. He gave one to us. It shows an American flag and says, “We Will Never Forget.” We haven’t. It’s still on our refrigerator.

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Center Point

Four of my friends from church and I have lunch together once a month, rotating who picks the restaurant. These 90-minute gatherings are simply the ‘in person’ part of what plays out in email between gatherings. During those written discussions we share editorials from various online newspapers, comment on the happenings in the world and trade a lot of friendly barbs – always in good humor and with the purpose of getting each other to think. Sometimes these dialogues may happen frequently on a good news day.

While all of us fall to the right on the political pendulum, I am the one who sits closest to the middle. In fact, I jokingly refer to myself as, “The liberal Catholic among us.” One of our recent exchanges was about the budget deficit standoff and who was at fault. The member who leans waaaay toward conservative blamed the president and Democrats for their insistence that a tax hike be included in any new legislation. I assumed my typical role – playing devil’s advocate: “What about those Tea Party members who refuse to budge on any of their tenets, even if it leads to an agreement?” His response: “They’re doing the right things. The other side is wrong.”

To me this is a microcosm of the biggest challenge impacting leadership. Whenever someone takes the position of ‘I think it, so it must be correct,” there is the danger of missing the opportunity to create a better result. It’s only through a willingness to hear other ideas and consider different approaches that true growth occurs. Lines in the sand and one-sided viewpoints don’t lead to change. They simply keep things heading down the same path.

This month it’s my turn to choose where to eat. When I gave two options and said we could decide the morning of lunch, one of my group wrote, “Sounds like you’re kicking the can down the road, just like Congress.” I wrote back: “Actually, I’m trying to model that the art of compromise happens every day in the real world… and usually makes for a more enjoyable meal.”

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Speed Bumps

I read the other day – and if I could remember who penned it, I’d give him/her credit… apologies upfront – that the concept of writer’s block is a myth. After all, the author questioned, “Is there such a thing as plumber’s block?” Seems like a logical point. Other professionals get up every morning, go to work and have to deliver results. What makes writers so special?

However, I can personally attest that there are days – despite intense efforts – words just don’t flow from my mind onto the monitor. That’s probably why I wouldn’t have been a good newspaper columnist, and likely the reason these blog entries only come occasionally. If I had to endure the pressure of writing something intelligent and inspiring every morning (or twice daily, if you’re Seth Godin), I’d be in big trouble.

Of course, I know the reason my ideas don’t flow smoothly like water, and instead drip slowly like syrup. It happens whenever there is something blocking the energy from making it’s way to my fingertips. Usually the inspiration well dries up because of another priority, a distraction or being unclear about the point I intend to make. When that happens it’s important for me to get those roadblocks completely taken care of; that’s the only way to clear the path for creating the next posting or e-newsletter.

So whenever you’re stuck, pause and think about the big humps preventing you from completing what you’re trying to accomplish. Push those out of the way and you’ll unleash the clarity you need to move forward.

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