Cold Shoulders

When you live in Texas and see news about snowstorms affecting other parts of the country, you think, “Glad that’s not us.” Until, of course, when the Super Bowl decides to come to DFW. Watching ESPN the past few days, folks across America could have been convinced the Lone Star State is frozen tundra during February. Even here in Houston – 270 miles to the south – they’re predicting several inches of snow over the next 24 hours.

It’s amazing how easily perceptions are embedded deeply in folk’s minds. In my coaching work with executives, I’ll interview a dozen people the client feels know him or her best, then share their quotes without attribution. Inevitably I’ll hear from the client, “That comment about me being condescending refers to one thing that happened a couple of years ago.” Yet there it is, a big enough issue to a team member that he felt the need to tell me about it during our 15-minute conversation.

While a single comment may or may not be relevant to a leader’s long-term success, understanding that supervisors, peers and direct reports have long memories is important. That quip you blurt out in a meeting that makes light of someone’s slip-up – the one everybody laughs at and you think is completely harmless – may have a lasting impact on your relationship with the object of your humor.

The snow in DFW will be forgotten once the NFL leaves town and temperatures rise; perceptions others hold of you aren’t so easily changed. So if your relationship with someone seems to be on ice, ask her what you did. If she tells you, apologize. Chances are it’s not too late to repair the misstep you don’t remember and warm up the chill in the air.

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Mental Telepathy

Inevitably whenever I’m watching a sports event on television, I’ll make a comment at a critical moment and the announcer immediately repeats it. Last night, just before Boise State went on its BCS-saving last-minute touchdown drive, I started singing, “Felix the cat, the wonderful wonderful cat… whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks.” Within five seconds, Kirk Herbstreit said, “I wonder if the Broncos will reach into their bag of tricks?” My son laughed and said: “Do you have a microphone directly into their headsets?” My response: “I spent 15 years producing those games and the last 15 watching them as a fan, so I sort of know what they’re thinking.”

College football is my passion. Amidst mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, doing ‘Zen and the art of automobile maintenance’ on our 10-year-old Camry, swimming and enjoying quality family togetherness this Labor Day weekend, I found time to watch ‘College Game Day’ and five football games. That’s a lot of moments to figure out what’s going on and where the announcers will take things.

The opportunity here in business is to climb into the heads of your customers (both internal and external ones) – and fully understand situations from their perspectives. Too often, leaders are so caught up in how you personally see things that you fail to consider what the view looks like from the other side of the table, or counter, or phone line, or desk. Yet stepping outside your own narrow scope opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Try it – let go of your bias – and you’ll discover the ability to anticipate what’s coming next. It’s a winning strategy in any game.

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