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Mind Shift

One of the creative gifts of humankind is crafting stories that paint vivid pictures in order to assign meaning to the world. Moses and 40 years wandering the desert. King Arthur and searching for the Holy Grail. Jay Gatsby and obsessing for Daisy.

Our minds quickly connect stories onto what we experience. Someone cuts me off in traffic: ‘What an idiot!’ Or, he might be really smart, just an unsafe driver. Someone crosses their arms during a conversation: ‘She must be upset with what I said.’ Or, she might be fully engaged, just cold. Someone on the side of the road holds up a sign asking for money: ‘He’s probably a lazy bum.’ Or, he might have mental illness, addiction or lost a child and doesn’t have the support for recovery.

Yesterday, I immediately judged someone after my swim. He was taking forever to finish his shower… delaying me from rinsing off, so I could be on my way. I mean he was ‘fully’ showering! Waiting several minutes 10 feet away – within his clear line of vision – made me angry. I told myself the story that he was inconsiderate, clueless and purposely doing it.

Then I caught myself and thought… or: maybe he’s a new member and no one told him the shower by the pool is just for rinsing; maybe he’s here as the guest of a friend who’s upstairs lifting weights, taking too long, and he’s going to be late for work; maybe the plumbing at his apartment is busted and this is his only option.

In my initial and revised reactions, I created the story without any facts… just my judgment about what I was seeing. The first ones – all negative – frustrated me. The second versions – all positive – didn’t raise any emotions. When I gave up, toweled off and left, I was in a much better place having thought of him in the better light. 

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Pi Chart

When I was a kid, my mom gave me a book by NBA All-Star Jerry Lucas, who was something of a memory savant. He could walk into a room to give a speech and in less than a couple of minutes repeat the names of 50 people in the audience. I recall learning the U.S. capital cities by creating picture connections… such as ‘Della dove in her swimwear’ for Dover, Delaware.

A couple years ago, I read ‘Moonwalking With Einstein,’ by a journalist who used ‘memory palaces’ to win an international competition. Picture every room in the house you grew up in. When you need to remember a list, place the items in a room. For instance: front door: apples; entry hall: bread; living room: milk; kitchen: laundry detergent. I use this one often… and have several ‘palaces’ such as buildings on my college campus and offices at my first job.

When it comes to retaining number sequences, such as ridiculously long codes our bank texts me for two-factor authentication, I use NFL players numbers. So… Brett Favre is 4; John Elway, 7; Roger Staubach, 12; Johnny Unitas, 19, etc. 

Which brings us today: Russell Wilson, Don Hutson, Bart Starr, Justin Tucker, Rod Woodson, Bob Breunig, Jack Lambert, Bryant Young, John Randle, Devin Hester, Troy Aikman, Todd Christensen

Otherwise known as the first 20 digits of pi.

Note: Jerry Lucas was Phi Beta Kappa at Ohio State. He’s a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame and one of the ’50 Greatest Players in NBA History’ (1996). ‘Doctor Memory’ turns 82 in two weeks and has authored more than 70 books. 

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Movin’ In

In August 2018, I wrote about our son Kyle being transferred to Nashville for a new role after one year working in Houston:

I’ll miss the young man I called ‘Little Buddy’ as a boy and now refer to as ‘Bud.’ I’ll miss my golf partner. I’ll miss the Sunday dinners at our house. I’ll miss having him help with ‘just a few small things’ whenever he visits. I’ll miss seeing his great smile. Yet, I know this is the way it’s supposed to be. We raise our kids to find their own paths and add value to the world.

While these three-and-a-half years didn’t pass ‘quickly’ – perhaps a global pandemic disrupted the space-time continuum – Kyle had a successful run in Music City… and ExxonMobil moved him back to HQ this month.

He’s adapting to the new position during a time of uncertainty in the energy industry and political turmoil around the world. He’s living with us for a while until the house he’s building is completed. We joined a golf-only club a few minutes from his new home.

Whatever the future holds, personally and professionally, I believe ‘Kyle with the Smile’ will be just fine… and I feel the same way about his generation. They experienced more disruptive events in the first 27+ years of life than mine did in our first 40.

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Opposites Distract

The eyes of the world are on Ukraine, with a lot of uncertainty about Putin’s intentions and the ultimate response of an aligned U.S. and western Europe. 

While the suffering of innocent people is always disheartening – and should be the first thing all of us consider – watching our political leaders and national media continue to take positions on polar ends of the spectrum is disappointing.

Fox News, and especially Tucker Carlson, lean far right… pointing fingers directly at President Biden, despite the fact he’s been in office one year and the positions of his predecessors this century contributed to Russia’s confidence in taking previous actions and embarking on the current one.

CNN always leans far left – with headlines this morning that include: “Putin’s lie: His justification for invasion draws outrage”; “Trump defends praise of Putin even as he calls Ukranian President ‘brave’”; “The invasion of Ukraine changed everything on Wall Street”.

The rhetoric and positioning of Republicans and Democrats is typical, expected and rooted in capitalizing on a crisis – similar to how it plays out Every. Single. Time. 

Somewhere, Walter Cronkite, David Brinkley and Peter Jennings are shaking their heads… wondering what happened to journalism and where we go from here. 

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Words Games

Recently I facilitated a leadership team retreat during which the host played a video of a ‘Super Soul Sessions’ talk from about six years ago by Brene’ Brown. The noted writer and lecturer spoke of ‘BRAVING’ – her acronym about building trust. She also said whenever a word doesn’t exist, like that one, she just makes it up to fit her needs.

While her creation of new words is intentional, lately I seem to be doing a lot of it without purpose. Perhaps it’s a sign of aging. Maybe it’s a lack of focus. Could be my RAM needs rebooting. Nonetheleast, some of the words coming out of my mouth aren’t exactly what I’m intendering.

Sometimes my verbalizeration is simple: “Kelsey said she’ll be here by five,” when, in fact, it was our other daughter Kirsten. Occasionally, I’ll reverse syllables: “You might want to check out this show ‘Luficer’ we’re watching on Netflix.” Then there are times the word is stuck in neutral: “I noticed we haven’t gotten a check from… from… from…” I can clearly see the company name, but I can’t speak it.

With perhaps three-quarters of life behind, I’ll admit to thoughts of the mind and body decline. As a writer, I can wait for the right word to flow through me… or, at the least, spellcheck or use an online dictionary. As a coach and speaker, well… this could be a problem.

Of course, the late comedian and ‘Master of Malaprop’ Norm Crosby made a career out of misspoken words… and Yogi Berra seemed far better known for his challenges with the English language, especially to later generations, than his Hall of Fame baseball legend. So maybe the inagility to say what I’m thinkering isn’t all that bard.