Heated Disagreement

It’s a complex issue… dating back far beyond 50 years.

There are passionate beliefs on both sides.

Some want to use the cudgel of perspectives rooted in centuries past.

Others cling to a more recent precedent that shouldn’t be revisited.

It’s a topic influenced by one’s upbringing… with religion, race and resolve playing roles in one’s personal decision.

Many never change their opinion. Others do over time. Some go back-and-forth, unable to gain clarity on where they should land.

There’s a strong likelihood the nation will never agree and 50 years hence this will still be a topic that creates a cultural divide and brings out our worst selves.

Personally, I know where I stand.

When it comes to this issue – especially as we begin a Fourth of July weekend celebrating unity – my position is: you put mustard on a hot dog, not ketchup (although you should get to make your own choice). 

Over Here

The last time I held a video game controller was probably 2011, when our then 12-year-old youngest would regularly trounce me in Wii Tennis and Bowling. Despite my lack of video interest, I am aware of the term NPC, which stands for ‘Non Player Character.’ In the high-tech world, it could be a pedestrian on a street corner, a ’person’ in the crowd, or even an image controlled by the AI to move the storyline further ahead.

There are, or course, NPCs in the real-world environment. The stranger you pass on the sidewalk while hurrying to your next appointment. The person who hops on the elevator one floor short of your destination. The receptionist at the building you visit.

As an introvert, I am quite comfortable not engaging with people around me at a ball game, or at the grocery checkout counter, and especially at a cocktail social. One of my close friends told me years ago, “You’re the best 20-second conversationalist I know,” and he was exaggerating by about 10.

Yet, I’m wondering – amidst this age when our country seems disconnected, disrupted and distrusted – what would happen if I made time once each day to connect with a person otherwise in the periphery of my vision. Not to regale them with my point of view. Simply to say hello and ask how they’re doing. Then listen to their story without judgment.

Perhaps I might discover a New Player Character who isn’t all that different from me. 

Power Surge

Living in Houston – at least in our Northwest part of the megapolis – there are several power surges and brief outages each month. (We won’t mention, for the purpose of this missive, the longer ones caused by hurricanes and freezes.)

Experts say these shorten the life of electronic devices, so having surge protectors is essential. When we moved here in ‘98, I diligently added them between every expensive piece of equipment and the wall outlets – and kept them in place whenever we replaced things.

A few months ago, I thought, ‘Wonder how long these things last?’ Several Google clicks later and I learned each power hit reduces the overall effectiveness and, thus, the lifespan of a surge protector. That means ours became worthless about a decade ago.

Amazon soon delivered ones for the entire house – not an inexpensive investment – and I took the old ones to Best Buy to be safely recycled or disposed.

Last week, we upgraded the nearly 24-year-old electrical circuit breaker box in our garage… and it includes an additional line of defense: a whole-home surge protector. While I haven’t known anyone who lost equipment to a power surge or outage, I sleep better knowing the first likely won’t be us.

Go Forth

This is the time of year college graduates hear words of wisdom at commencement exercises. Tim Cook, Apple CEO, appeared at Gallaudet. Taylor Swift delivered at NYU. Emmanuel Acho spoke at my alma mater, UT-Austin.

Elsewhere, Russell Wilson, Abby Wambach and Dwyane Wade represented the sports world. Kamala Harris, Mike Pence and Condelezza Rice appeared from the political spectrum. Tyler Perry, Henry Winkler and Ken Jeong came from the entertainment industry.

These had me wondering, if I were asked to speak at a graduation, what life lessons would I share with those setting out to find their place in the world? After some reflection, here are five:

1) Your word is the most important asset you own. Be honest and candid. Show up as promised. Fulfill your commitments on time.

2) The ability to listen is an art. It requires eliminating distractions and being fully present for the other person. It means not thinking about what you’re going to say while the other person is speaking. It demands avoiding judgments around what you’re hearing. Like every art form, the ability to listen takes daily practice to master.

3) People don’t spend much time thinking about you. So don’t worry about them. Focus on what you can control and keep moving forward.

4) Work throughout your career with a coach you trust – and allow yourself to be transparent and vulnerable with them. They don’t have to know your industry or understand your role. They do need to be detached from the emotions of your work, ask powerful questions that get you to think, and believe that you’re meant to be great.

5) In the end, how much money you made, how many toys you had, how popular you were don’t really matter. Live each day so that at your funeral, people come up to your family and say things like: ‘he’s the finest man I ever knew;’ ‘she went out of her way to put others first;’ ‘I will always remember the time your [father, mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle] helped me when I needed it most.’ 

Paying Respect

From my home office, I have a straight view out my window to the house across the street. Every Thursday morning, a blue Toyota Camry pulls up, circles our cul-de-sac and parks in front of it. Three women climb out, open the trunk, each take out a handful of cleaning items and go inside.

About an hour later, they walk out, put the materials back in the trunk, get in the car and drive away. From here, I don’t know where they go; however, my guess is it’s onto another house to repeat the same routine. Every day. Like clockwork. For many years.

During my training at the Disney Institute more than two decades ago, the facilitator told us the longest-tenured cast members at Walt Disney World Resort were housekeepers – at an average of 18 years. “As you ponder that,” he said, “think about what they do.”

Maybe we should spend more time considering how lucky we are that there are people who want to clean our toilets, teach our children, mow our yards, patrol our streets, serve in our hospitals, work our drive-throughs and do so many other jobs that make our lives easier.

Every day. Like clockwork. For many years.