Category: Motivation

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Good Questions

When our youngest daughter was four, we were visiting friends out of town. She and their four-year-old were upstairs putting on dress-up clothes. The doorbell rang, and the police officer standing on the front porch explained there had been an emergency call from a child at the residence. Mystified as to what was going on, we asked the girls to explain, and ours said: “Daddy told me if I ever need help to dial 9-1-1. I didn’t know which dress to wear, so I called to ask.”

Fast-forward eight years… our soon-to-be teenager is having some challenges with a couple of girls at her junior high. She asks us what to do, and I say, “Be nice, and eventually they’ll be nice to you.” She tries. Things don’t improve. She seeks a different answer. This time she doesn’t call 911; she e-mails one of the counselors at the camp she attended last summer. Seems that young woman told all the campers: “If you ever need advice, feel free to contact me.”

There is wonderful beauty in my precocious child’s inherent trait to take things at face value. More importantly, she’s unafraid to ask anyone anything. That should serve her well eight years from now when she’s finishing college and starting to look for a job. You’ll be a better leader by utilizing her approach when you’re looking for answers. Ask questions. Then ask some more. I’ve seen it work firsthand.

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I’m Just Saying

Recently I decided to disengage from some of the community involvement in my life. I’m not re-upping for a board position when my three-year term is up in May, and in the past week I turned down two new requests to join committees. The reason is simple, if self-centered: our two kids remaining at home are teenagers who participate in sports, and I don’t want to miss any more of their games.

Interestingly, saying ‘No’ is one of the hardest things for many people – and occasionally a challenge for me. That’s why my business partner (who’s also my wife) will sit me down every so often and say, “So tell me again why you agreed to do that.” The reasons for this inability to decline, at least in my case, are based on: 1) wanting to please; and 2) not wanting to miss out on something that could ultimately lead to more revenue.

Over the weekend I facilitated the recurring quarterly meeting of one the focus groups I lead. As the seven business owners presented their financial statements and “Rocks” (read: 2011 goals), half of them spoke of things they need to stop doing. They, too, struggle with knowing when enough is enough – or recognizing when less becomes more.

My recent decisions were made easier by the response I received from one of the folks who asked me to be on his committee: “David, your desire to be with your family at this critical time during their youth is respected and understood. We will indeed miss your wisdom and intuition about institutional dynamics. Please know that even though you may not be formally involved, your input is ALWAYS welcome.”

There will be more opportunities to serve down the road. Keep that in mind the next time someone asks, and your instincts are shouting, “I need to pass on this one.” Go with your gut. You’ll come out ahead in the long run.

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Unfulfilled Promises

The latest entry in ESPN’s terrific ’30 for 30′ film series is “The Best That Never Was” about former University of Oklahoma running back Marcus Dupree. It chronicles his meteoric rise to becoming the most highly recruited high school player ever, immediate success as an unstoppable freshman for the Sooners, fall from grace, career-ending injury in the defunct USFL, and resurrection five years later for one final moment in the NFL. Watching it, I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for his plight. Marcus Dupree seems at peace – some 28 seasons removed from when he dominated the sports headlines.

What you may not know is there was a player who preceded him at OU by two decades who also was a surefire-can’t-miss-future-Hall of Famer: Joe Don Looney. Coincidentally, The Sporting News featured an article 15 years ago titled “The Greatest Player Who Never Was.”

After graduating from Ft. Worth Paschal High School in 1960, Joe Don opted not to play college football. However, after flunking out of the University of Texas and getting kicked out of TCU, he enrolled to play at a junior college in Oklahoma, where he led the team to the Juco national championship. The following year, playing for the Sooners, Joe Don Looney was a first team All-American. Unable to control his attitude, temper and nighttime sojourns, he left the team – just like Dupree – in the middle of his second season.

He then played for five NFL teams in five seasons… interrupted by a year serving in Vietnam. After retirement, Joe Don Looney exhibited behavior fitting of his last name: experimenting with cocaine, LSD and heroin; living on a boat in Hong Kong; taking care of a guru’s elephant in India for seven years; building and living in a solar-powered dome house in the far-off mountains of West Texas, 70 miles from the Mexico border. In 1988, at age 45, Joe Don Looney died in a motorcycle accident when he failed to hit the brakes on a curve.

On one of the walls of his home was a quote from Agnes Repplier: “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” The magazine article noted he once said: “If the end zone is where happiness is, I’d be living there. It’s not, so I’m living here.”

There are lessons to be learned from Marcus Dupree and Joe Don Looney… not the least of which is potential only goes so far.

– – – – – –

NFL Careers:

Joe Don Looney – 724 yards rushing, 26 catches, 13 TDs

Marcus Dupree – 251 yards rushing, 6 catches, 1 TD

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Rhythm Dance

Back in the day I created quite a few sports videos set to popular music for the various television entities where I worked as a producer. Two of my favorites were Kenny Loggins’ “Run for the Roses” (before the Cowboys played in the NFC Championship game the year the Super Bowl was to be at the Rose Bowl) and The Oak Ridge Boys’ “Thank God for Kids” (which, amazingly, will have its 29th airing this holiday season).

The key to setting sports to music is to combine the right beat with the perfect words and the best highlights. For some reason that came naturally to me during my television days. I’d hear a song every so often and would immediately envision how to use it. The amazing thing is most people – my musically inclined children included – would say I am not blessed with the gift of rhythm… at least when it comes to dancing or keeping a beat.

Yet in my daily life – both personally and professionally – I find rhythm to be one of my greatest strengths. Whether it’s sitting down to write my monthly e-newsletter, working in the yard, or participating in my latest hobby, I easily fall into the rhythm of the moment.

The words for my e-newsletter flow through my hands, as if magically, each issue. I simply sit at the keyboard and type. Mowing, gardening and the things that go with them allow me a few hours of escape, during which all kinds of inspirational ideas flow through my mind. During my hours each week in the pool, the silence sweeps me away to an almost meditative state. As the water flows around me, I find the rhythmic strokes much more relaxing than all the years running was my passion.

So, if you’re looking for peace, tranquility or inspiration, think about the rhythm in your life. Are you in sync? If not, look at where the interference is happening… and seek out that quite place inside you where alignment rests. You’ll find yourself more relaxed, more productive and, best of all, you’ll really like the feeling of harmony – and that could be the inspiration for a wonderful video of your life.

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Called To Serve

It’s Election Day in America… which is the most wonderful opportunity for citizens to have an impact on our nation. With so much frustration and turmoil happening all around, many feel their voices are unheard, that no one is listening. One thing is certain: the greatest gift – and responsibility – of living in a free society is to exercise your right to vote. If you need any reassurance or perspective on how important that is, just think about all the Iraqis who had their index fingers inked last year.

This election arrives particularly close to home for our family. Last summer my wife made the decision to run for a position on our local school board. After 12 years of helping our children navigate through public schools here, she felt the calling to participate in the leadership process. Ours is an open election in which you blindly declare for a specific seat, regardless of where you live in the district. As it turned out, she has no challengers – while another open position has three people vying for votes.

It was one of the special moments of my life when last week during early voting I cast my ballot for Kathy Handler, TISD Board of Trustees, Place 1. I would have voted for her even if we weren’t married. She’s a great listener, logical… a consensus-builder who seeks to find solutions rather than point out problems. She’ll do great.

Whether you’re running for political office or a regular citizen like me – with one vote and one voice – everyone is equal today. This is your opportunity to speak loudly… even if you’re the only one who hears how you feel.

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