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Full Disclosure

During the 14 years I wrote a monthly newsletter and writing this blog since 2009, I have always tried to be open and honest, never holding back a thought, if it would benefit readers. Yet, today – as I type these words – I am hesitant.

There is so much divisiveness in our country. People are hunkering down on the side that best represents their belief system. The past three weeks have added additional fuel to the fire. So, today – as I type these words – I am hesitant.

I know that withholding my opinion doesn’t help anyone… and I have an earned trust with readers to share my perspective. Yet, I know that what I’m about to say will upset half my audience. So, today – as I type these words – I am hesitant.

Nonetheless… I’m going to do what I always do: write what I feel.

So here goes.

I absolutely love watching Hallmark Christmas movies.

It’s a holiday tradition Kathy and I started a few years ago, and we renewed it a few days after the first feature – Jingle Bell Bride – aired on October 24.

OK, I get it. Every single Hallmark movie is the same…

Open with snowy aerial shot of big city or small town

Introduce main characters living in separate worlds – typically longtime single or recently widowed/divorced; work in ad agency or run store inherited from deceased parent

Paths cross fortuitously. Instant connection. Work together on last-minute project like annual Christmas Eve pageant or gathering donations for overseas military

Underlying conflict around having to return to big city unexpectedly because boss requires starting new position the day after Christmas or just not ready to start relationship. Usually a misunderstanding because someone eaves-dropped on conversation

Mother gives ‘do what your heart tells you’ advice. Couple finally embraces under mistletoe/stars/during formal Christmas Eve dance where woman arrived in stunning dress and man nattily attired

Kiss. Wide Shot. Tilt up. Roll credits

(Of course, there are also scenes with: cookie baking, ice skating, snowball fights, hot cocoa, former relationships, Santa in disguise, wreath making, tree decorating, sleigh rides, opening gifts, visits to faraway places like Rome and Vienna…. and – in 5-4-3-2-1 – lighting of the giant Christmas tree on the town square.)

I realize this thing we refer to as ‘schlocky Hallmark Christmas movies’ isn’t for everyone. For us, though, it’s a welcomed disconnect from everything going on in the world – and what’s the alternative: watching a midweek college football game or a show like “I See Your Voice”? We’ll stick with ‘stars’ like Lacey Chaubert, Luke Mcfarlane, Candace Cameron Bure, Brennan Elliott, Danica McKellar and Andrew Walker.

Note: We cut the cable this summer and didn’t’ think we’d be able to tune in this year. However, we discovered a little know streaming service – frndly TV – that has all 3 Hallmark channels and 12 other networks. It’s eight bucks a month for HD, unlimited cloud recordings and you can cancel anytime. There are a dozen Christmas movies still to air, so why wait?

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Choose One

In November, 2008, I wrote the following for my monthly e-newsletter. As this is Election Day in America – and there are a lot of fears about what reactions people will have based on the final outcome – it seemed like a good time to publish it again…

History walked among us last Tuesday – regardless of whether you’re liberal, conservative or squarely in between. The election of Barack Obama as President of the United States will be studied by schoolchildren in the year 2227, just as our kids today read about George Washington. As eye witnesses, we are privileged to have experienced it in our lifetime.

Full disclosure: I voted for the other guy. While that may cause some of you to immediately stop reading and hit “Unsubscribe” – and others to say, “I knew it, Martha! He’s one of us.” – the deciding issue for me was balance. I didn’t want to see the Executive branch and
Congress controlled by one party. That weighed more heavily on my mind than whether Republican values were a better choice than Democratic change.

Mr. Obama is a great orator, and the impact his victory is having shows he has the potential to inspire action. In 71 days, he’ll take the oath of office and be thrown into the fire, with our nation facing its greatest challenges in a generation. Like all leaders, he’ll make right decisions and wrong ones, and he’ll ultimately be judged on which way the scale tips most often. At this time, in this nation, all of us need him to succeed. When you hit your knees tonight, set politics aside, and pray hard for him to receive the gift of wisdom.

Mr. McCain easily carried Texas, receiving this red state’s 34 electoral votes. Our 18-year-old daughter cast her first presidential ballot this year. During the primaries, she said: “Tell me again how my vote matters? A Republican is going to win Texas regardless of who I vote for, so does it really count?” Kids say the darndest things, even after they grow up.

Our forefathers did an amazing job laying the foundation for this country; however, we’ve found it necessary to add 27 Amendments to the original ratified document. In these wonderful days of so many citizens feeling included in the future of our nation, perhaps it’s time to consider abolishing the Electoral College, and truly make Election Day a one-person, one-vote process.

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Spooky Sibling

Halloween is a favorite time of year around our house. While we don’t decorate the outside – orange lights strung in shrubs is not our thing – the inside becomes a vivid display of all things pumpkin. That includes the pumpkin bread I consume in way too large quantities, although no pumpkin spice latte ever crosses our lips.

One reason this date is special is because it’s the birthday of the brother that’s closest to me in age. Mike was born October 31, 1955, which means today is Medicare day number one.

I recall our two oldest brothers telling a story about that date. Then ages nine and six – they went ‘Trick-or-Treating’ in their Fort Worth suburb… by themselves. When people opened their doors, instead of saying those three magic words guaranteed to earn candy, they said, “Our mother just had another boy.”

Mike is a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and friend. He’s run his own insurance agency for more than two decades, built and sold – along with wife Kathy – several custom homes, and can do anything with his hands. He also holds two Masters degrees and recently was ordained a deacon in the Catholic church after many years of study.

He’s a pretty awesome brother, too… now.

Five years older than me, my mother said he would get under my baby crib and kick. He apparently didn’t appreciate having a younger sibling in the house. That’s OK. Mike made it up to me over the years and someday – maybe on his 75th – I’ll let it go.

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Simple Ideas

Earlier this week I observed an online kickoff session for a new coaching program I’ll be part of in the coming months. The CEO – a gentleman I saw as confident, transparent and relaxed – shared the vision, values and rules with his leadership team.

He focused a lot on the importance of ‘doing quirky well’ and delivering ‘wild hair’ ideas – and this company is in the insurance industry. When asked to describe the perfect leader for the organization, he said, “Somebody having fun and attracting a crowd that want to have fun with them.”

The thing he said that resonated the most with me is: “During these challenging Covid times, amidst the forces of fatigue, it’s important to find sources of joy.”

You might be noticing a lot of people with Covid Fatigue. I see it in my friends and family, and especially the few times I venture out and notice all the people who just seem to be over it. Yet, there’s a good possibility, Covid isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Whatever the next wave brings, it will be many more months before therapeutics and a vaccine provide an all clear.

Spend a few minutes thinking about all of the nearby sources of joy in your life…

Read that book you always wanted to and never had time. Build puzzles. Sit on the back porch during cooler fall weather and watch the birds and squirrels. Take an online course. Go for a walk. Visit a strawberry patch or cornfield maze. FaceTime your siblings, children, grandkids. Verbalize your blessings. Watch a comedy film you’ve never seen. Phone a long-lost friend. Listen to music or a new podcast. Carve a pumpkin. Look at old photos. Write down 10 things you will do once the pandemic passes. Clean your closets. Go for a drive to parts of the city you haven’t been to in a while. Have food delivered from your favorite restaurant. Hand-write a note to all those people who helped you along the path to your success. Smile. Laugh. Breathe.

Don’t let the forces of fatigue overwhelm you. Pursue joyful things… and be safe and socially distance along the way.

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Words Count

The hometown Texans fired their coach and general manager this week – four games into a season with no wins. Stories are coming out about his treatment of others during seven years at the helm, and in particular how he acted recently.

When he was offensive coordinator in New England, Bill O’Brien’s nickname, given him by quarterbacks Tom Brady and Brian Hoyer, was ‘Teapot’… because he tended to boil over under stress. When HBO Hard Knocks featured the Texans in 2015 preseason, cameras captured O’Brien dropping F-Bombs.

“Yeah, I need to stop swearing, or cut it down at least,” he said. “My brother texted me, he thought it was awesome. My mom texted me, she didn’t think it was too awesome.”

In recent weeks, O’Brien allegedly got into shouting matches with players and assistant coaches – and there are reports he screamed at employees at the team’s headquarters.

As long as O’Brien was winning four AFC South titles in the past five seasons, the Texans overlooked his inability to control emotions. Lose a 24-0 lead against Kansas City in the playoffs, start 0-4, scream at the face of the franchise… and… Goodbye.

Perhaps it would have worked out differently had Bill O’Brien treated people better.

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