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Vision Crafting

My nephew’s wife makes jewelry. She’s also the mother of three young children. The middle one – a rambunctious boy of five – wants to help mom, so he started ‘designing’ bracelets. Then, and given his father is in sales this might not be a surprise, he decided to sell them in the neighborhood.

His technique, which my nephew says came from his own imagination? Knock on a door and try one of two approaches:

Ask the neighbor if they’d like to buy one of his unique designs…
or… Tell them he made a bracelet especially for them, put it on their wrist… then say, ‘You owe me one dollar.’

No telling where he’ll start his career in 2039; however, he’s getting an early start down the path toward success. 

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Graceful Exit

The world’s oldest person died this week. Kane Tanaka was born in Japan on January 2, 1903. What else happened that year?

The first west-east transatlantic radio broadcast from the U.S. to England occurred a few weeks later. Henry Ford raised $28,000 in cash and founded a motor company in June. The Wright Flyer took to the air at Kitty Hawk in December.

So her life spanned the first flight to the first crypto Super Bowl ads.

Meanwhile, last Friday my lifelong friend – and former producer during my television sports career – and I visited our now 87-year-old former director. He seemed in good health, although many pounds lighter than several decades ago. He did walk with a cane and got around well.

He also repeated the same story at least 20 times – and kept asking us if we ever worked with an announcer we all did many game with in the 80’s. When we showed him a picture of the three of us with another announcer, he didn’t recognize him.

The last thing he said to us – with a laugh: ‘The next time you see me, I’ll be in a coffin.”

It’s tough to see others age, especially those we love or knew when their minds were clear. There’s an old adage: ‘it beats the alternative;’ however, I’m not sure that being unable to remember things is a worthwhile quality of life. I tell our kids, “Just give me 85 and out.”

That feels a lot better than 119. 

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Just Stuff

One of my clients shared an analogy with me recently that was most insightful: “We all carry around an invisible backpack. Inside it are all the things we experienced and haven’t let go. Some of those are nice memories. Others simply burden us down.”

Those many images are clear to me.

Growing up in Fort Worth with terrific friends. Winning the boys basketball state championship as seniors. All the people I met in sports television. These bring smiles.

Not buying Berkshire Hathaway Class A shares at $1,000. Calling a friend’s mom the name of their dog – at least 10 times – one afternoon. Failing to forgive someone for too many years. These bring regret.

Perhaps a better approach might be to let the past go and focus on this moment… on what needs to be taken care of today. At least then all those things taking up space in my backpack – and cluttering my mind – would dissipate… and I might be able to recall more important things, like the reason I walked into a room or what I am supposed to pick up at the grocery store. 

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For Sure

I’m positive these things are true:

> The earth isn’t flat

> We have to pay taxes on April 15

> Health care workers are heroes

I’m pretty sure these things are true:

> All dogs go to heaven 

> No one can predict the weather

> They’ll never be another Tom Brady

I’m doubtful these things are true:

> Columbus discovered America

> Will Rogers never met a man he didn’t like

> Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy

Someone said: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

One of a leader’s biggest challenges is setting aside their own ideas and being open to the team’s points of view, suggestions and approaches. Too often, they get stuck on ‘my belief’ or ‘how I’d do it’ and miss the opportunity for alternative perspectives that might lead to better results.

(Ironically, while that quote is oft attributed to Mark Twain, there is no actual record of who said it. We don’t know for sure.)

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Mind Shift

One of the creative gifts of humankind is crafting stories that paint vivid pictures in order to assign meaning to the world. Moses and 40 years wandering the desert. King Arthur and searching for the Holy Grail. Jay Gatsby and obsessing for Daisy.

Our minds quickly connect stories onto what we experience. Someone cuts me off in traffic: ‘What an idiot!’ Or, he might be really smart, just an unsafe driver. Someone crosses their arms during a conversation: ‘She must be upset with what I said.’ Or, she might be fully engaged, just cold. Someone on the side of the road holds up a sign asking for money: ‘He’s probably a lazy bum.’ Or, he might have mental illness, addiction or lost a child and doesn’t have the support for recovery.

Yesterday, I immediately judged someone after my swim. He was taking forever to finish his shower… delaying me from rinsing off, so I could be on my way. I mean he was ‘fully’ showering! Waiting several minutes 10 feet away – within his clear line of vision – made me angry. I told myself the story that he was inconsiderate, clueless and purposely doing it.

Then I caught myself and thought… or: maybe he’s a new member and no one told him the shower by the pool is just for rinsing; maybe he’s here as the guest of a friend who’s upstairs lifting weights, taking too long, and he’s going to be late for work; maybe the plumbing at his apartment is busted and this is his only option.

In my initial and revised reactions, I created the story without any facts… just my judgment about what I was seeing. The first ones – all negative – frustrated me. The second versions – all positive – didn’t raise any emotions. When I gave up, toweled off and left, I was in a much better place having thought of him in the better light. 

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