Downward Spiral

“Billy Ray Cyrus and Alan Thicke, please come get your children.” Those were the comments of a local radio host the day after MTV’s Video Music Awards.

“Miley, what exactly were you thinking?” So reads the headline on the CNN website today.

Without coming across as a grumpy old man – or one of those ‘Rock and Roll will ruin our youth’ parents from the 50’s – I don’t understand what compels former Disney stars to go so far off the deep end in order to change their images. (Two weeks ago, as I walked out of the YMCA following my morning swim, I glanced at the TV. There was Selena Gomez performing live on GMA… grinding on stage like some lap dancer at Rick’s.)

I get that these almost-grown-up stars want to leave Hannah Montana and Alex Russo behind and reach a new audience. However, is it really necessary to be the exact opposite of the character that made you famous… and wealthy? I’m not sure if you would call what Miley did at the VMA’s art; however, the publicity – mostly negative, by the way – will likely sell a lot of records and concert tickets. At worst, she flipped her middle finger at the past and said, “This is the real me, world.”

You know from experience that former childhood stars have to go through a lot of growing pains – Kirk Cameron aside – before finding themselves as adults. Some make it through: Britney Spears is a good example of sinking to the depths and recovering. Others continue on the fast track to hitting bottom… making headlines for the wrong reasons. Lindsay Lohan is this generation’s poster child, with Amanda Bynes trying hard to catch her.

Given the history of ‘use and discard celebrities’ to make a lot of money, I’m guessing producers are providing guidance on what sells in America today. Unfortunately, these stories often end tragically. As a parent, it makes me glad our three children weren’t blessed with that kind of – and I use the word loosely – talent. Where have you gone Annette Funicello? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

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Matriculation Day

And so it’s here – 6,922 days after Kathy called my hotel room at 4:30 a.m. and said, “You’re a father again” – we take our son to college. (Yes, I was out of town working and missed his birth, which came a week early. Appropriately, he’s never been late for anything.)

This one is impacting me more than when we dropped our daughter off on the same UT-Austin campus 1,828 days ago. That moment felt like a logical transition. Our first-born had entered adulthood and we were thrilled for her to experience all the joys our alma mater offers. Also, Kelsey was so involved in theater and band during her senior year that we really didn’t see her much those last few months, so there wasn’t a lot of separation anxiety.

Kyle’s departure from our household is more like your best friend moving away. We spent so much time together – driving to basketball games, attending sports events, talking about his future, playing golf – that there will be a huge void.

So today, for perhaps the first time, I feel a connection to my great grandfather. He boarded a ship in Europe in 1892, and uprooted his wife and children – my then two-year-old grandfather among them – from their Austria-Hungary homeland to seek a new life in America.

I feel close to his grandson, who joined the Navy after Pearl Harbor, like so many boys, skipping the rest of his senior year. One day in 1945, as WWII neared its end, he and three fellow enlisted men ate lunch a few blocks from their base. The 17-year-old waitress, daughter of the woman who owned the café, caught his eye. On January 20, 1946, he married my mother and never returned to the cold climate of Wisconsin, remaining in Fort Worth to raise four sons and a daughter together.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24

So today is not the end of a wonderful relationship with my beloved son. It’s the beginning of his life’s journey. One I’m certain will lead him to happiness. He is, after all, the fifth generation legacy of a man who, too, left behind parents to discover his fate.

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