Lessons Learned – #7

What’s the seventh most important lesson I learned during 2010?

Passages – This year I lost two uncles, an aunt and two cousins. As my friend said, “It’s the stage we are at in life.” I hadn’t spent much time with them in decades, so I decided the best way to pay tribute would be to compile our family tree on ancestry.com – a terrific free website where you can upload stories and pictures of relatives. While it took many hours to add 428 members dating to the 17th century, the historical record should help our next generation connect with their roots.

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Living ‘The Dance’

Garth Brooks just signed a five-year contract to perform on weekends at the Wynn Encore in Las Vegas. Having retired in 2000 to spend more time with his three daughters, the top-selling solo artist of all-time is ready to return to the stage. “He’s been happy being at home attending every soccer game and knowing what his kids like to eat for breakfast,” said Trisha Yearwood, whom he married four years ago. Of course, it helps that Steve Wynn tossed in millions and an 11-seat jet to convince him to perform live again.

While that set-up is likely only available to the rich and wildly famous, the rest of us have a blank whiteboard of opportunities we could pursue with our lives…yet stand in our own way of making them come true, out of fear for what we have to leave behind.

Recently, my wife and I were playing TableTopics, a game of “What If…?” with two couples who are close friends. Among the questions that came up were: “If you got a tattoo, what would it look like and where on your body would it be?” and “If you could belong to any culture, which one would you choose?” Those types of thought-provoking introspections always make for interesting conversations.

Another question we opined on was: “If money were no object, what would you do?” My buddy answered, “I’d get rid of the big house, fancy cars and pressure, and go live quietly somewhere on a beach in Mexico.” His wife said, “I’m right there with him.” When I asked what’s holding them back, he said, “The kids, my parents, responsibilities…the usual ties that bind.” Going into coaching mode, I said, “Why let that stop you?” He turned his head askew and said, “I’m not sure.”

I hope he thinks about that, because they are crystal clear on what would be a wonderful life for them – just unable to take the leap of faith required to make their dream come true. There is no guarantee it would work out, but they won’t find out if they never t try.

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end / The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain / But I’d have had to miss the dance
~ Garth Brooks, 1990

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